Got to Dance!

A couple of days ago a friend posted the following video on her FB page. She warned us to grab some tissue before we watched it. I didn't follow her advice, but I wished that I had when I had tears rolling down my face! They were mostly tears of joy, but some filled with sadness as well.

Watch these Down syndrome cuties cut loose with their siblings, in an expression of dance. And, tell me you didn't get a smile on your face, with perhaps a few tears mixed in as well!

*Pause music on the right-hand sidebar of this blog to hear video!*



Told ya that you'd smile, and maybe even need a tissue! :)

I am always amazed by the emotions that come forth when people are around those who have Down syndrome. I'm not sure why it amazes me, because I have experience with the joy they bring to others! I really don't think it's possible to not become happy when you are around such fun, innocent and perfect human beings!

I was seriously crying tears of joy as I watched them dance with abandon. But, then the tears of sadness crept in. I pictured Gavin being able to dance with such energy and happiness.....and my tears turned to sobs and longing.

I long for Gavin to have such ability! I wish with all my heart that Gavin hadn't suffered a life-altering stroke, and that he could be up.....dancing.....and running! It made me think of the "What if's." What if Gavin hadn't had a severe brain injury? What if Gavin was able to talk, walk, run, play and lead a more purposeful life?

I will never know the possibilities that Gavin might have had.......and this breaks my heart!

I do believe that Gavin dances in his own way though. Sometimes he gets so excited and his body just starts a movin'! I choose to believe that this is Gavin's way of dancing in the only way that he knows how to dance. And, Guess what? This Momma thinks it's the best dancing that she has ever seen!





And, when I see him wiggling, moving, smiling and squealing his deep squeals....I know that Gavin is doing the best he is able to, to come out of his stroke-damaged brain, and that he is trying so hard to relate with us and share with those around him.....So, he REALLY is leading a purposeful life!

His purpose is to bring happiness to others, and to teach us lessons of gratitude! And, I believe that Gavin does his job very well!

On a slightly different note:

For the past 3 years I have had the desire to adopt a child who has Ds. I've thought about it, and I've prayed about it. I've even tried to talk myself out of this crazy desire! I've told myself that it's just not possible, and that we just can't take on such a huge undertaking! I've done everything that I can to put it out of my mind....but this desire just won't go away!

I keep asking myself why I desire to adopt another sweetie with Ds. I ask myself why I have this feeling that our family just isn't complete yet. I ask why I want another child, when my hands and life are so busy with the 4 that I already have! I've woke up many mornings telling myself that our family is complete and to STOP thinking about this crazy thought!

But, it won't go away!

Joel has listened to me for the past 3 years. I'm quite sure that he has listened with closed ears most of the time! :) But, lately he has been praying about this as well. He knows that it's important to me, and he is willing to seriously consider this huge undertaking.

I'm asking that you pray for us in this matter. We feel that the answer is there, but it just hasn't been shown to us yet. Please pray that we will make wise choices and that we are shown a clear answer in this tough decision!

I know that we have lots of love to give, and many opportunities to share with another child. I also know that there are many Ds blessings out there without a Mom and a Dad.....who are waiting to be loved and cared for. It breaks my heart to think that they aren't being given the chance to grow, to be loved, to be given opportunities that children need to be given, and the chance to DANCE with abandonment in a family who adores them!


"Let them praise His name with dance; let them sing praises to Him with the timbrel and harp. For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation." Psalm 149:3-4

Gavin Adores His Brothers!

Gavin has been sick. But, what is new?! Gavin has had a really rough couple of months! He just can't seem to catch a break, and I think it's beginning to wear on him.....and I know that it's wearing on me! He has been catching every little thing that comes around him, and it's been hitting him hard every time! Plus, he has been generous in sharing his germs with me......so life around here hasn't been the most enjoyable lately. I can't wait until the germs of winter are gone, and we have some consistantly nice weather and fewer illnesses! I need this so badly! And, so does my sweet Gavin!

The other day I was trying to take a few pictures of Gavin. He hasn't been his happy self, due to all his sickness, so I couldn't get a smile out of him no matter how hard I tried!



Then along came big brother Jake! He always likes to "pet" Gavin on the head.




And, Gavin knows that Jake is around as soon as he feels that little "pet" on his head! He simply adores Jake! In fact, Gavin adores all of his brothers!



And, here's the proof!




All it took to get a smile from Gavin was a visit from one of his brothers! Thanks Jacob for helping me get a smile, and a great picture of our little man! :)


"Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:8a

One Fish, Two Fish, Long Hair, Short Hair?

Remember these shoes of Gavin's?



Every time I put them on his feet, I get a little happier. It's funny how something so simple can brighten one's mood.....well this happens to me anyway. And, now I get even happier when I put them on his feet, when I also put this shirt on him as well!



Adorable, don't you think?!



One or two of our other boys wore this shirt when they were younger, but I didn't think it would fit Gavin until after he had grown out of these matching shoes. But, I tried it on him last week and it already fits him! Yay!

Can you tell this makes me happy?! :)

Last week I also decided that Gavin needed a haircut. This is always a chore, because Gavin likes his hair cut just about as much as he likes to have a bath! (NOT AT ALL!)

Here is a picture of him before the haircut:



And, here is a picture of him after the haircut:



I personally think he looks cute either way, but there are some strong opinions in our family about how some of us prefer Gavin's hair. So, I'm wondering which way do you prefer it.....Long or Short?


"Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

Carrying a Contact...a Cartoon...a Charity...and a Cause!

So.....my last post was about how empty my heart has felt ever since we found out that Gavin had suffered a stroke, and that he was likely to stay infant-like for the rest of his life. This empty feeling has not changed since I wrote that post, and this burden that I have to carry each and every day will most likely never go away.

And, my questions of why Gavin had to have this stroke may also never be answered on this side of heaven.....but, I WAS sent an e-mail recently that has me thinking a little more clearly.

Joel's aunt sent us the following true story, and it was something that I really benefited from reading! So, I thought that I would share it with all of you!


Here it is:

The Ant and the Contact Lens: (A true story)

Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens. 'Great', she thought. 'Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry.'

She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.

She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse 'The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.'



She thought, 'Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.'

Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, 'Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?'

Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!



The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, 'Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You.'



I think it would do all of us some good to say, 'God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if You want me to carry it, I will.'

Reading this story has helped me to remember that God has a purpose for all of us.....for me.....and even, or maybe even ESPECIALLY, for Gavin! I know this in my empty heart, but sometimes I forget to keep this in the forefront of my mind.

Every single day is truly difficult for me as I care for Gavin. But, I have to remember to rely on God's strength, and to trust in His plan! Because, even though my "load may be heavy", He has a reason for having me carry this blessed load!

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Have you ever heard about a place/organization called Give Kids the World? Well, they have a resort in Florida that allows children who have life-threatening illnesses to go on a vacation of a lifetime! This is where our family will likely stay when we are able to take Gavin on his Make-A-Wish trip.

Today, if you visit your area Perkins restaurant, they are serving free pancakes to raise money for Give Kids the World. If you go in to eat at a Perkins restaurant today, you and your entire family will be given a free short stack of pancakes. They just ask that you consider donating to this great charity! So, on behalf of Gavin and other children like him, please consider eating at a Perkins restaurant today!

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And finally, did you know that today is World Down Syndrome Day? Well, it is! In fact, every year on March 21, it is! They chose this particular day to try to educate the world about those who have Down syndrome, because it represents the number of Chromosomes a person with Down syndrome has. Normally, we have 46 Chromosomes in our DNA, with a pair of Chromosomes on each Chromosome.....but, most people with DS have an extra Chromosome on their 21st Chromosome, making them have 3, instead of 2. So, today's date (3/21) is used to represent the fact that there are 3 Chromosomes on their 21st Chromosome! Pretty cool huh?!

So many people seem to be afraid of those who have Down syndrome, and many seem to think that they aren't able to do what many people are capable of doing. This is FAR from the truth!.....(With the exception of a few like Gavin, who happens to have severe brain damage secondary to the stroke that he suffered.) Those with DS are quite capable! They are the same as everyone else, and they can learn to do most everything the typical person does, it just may take them a little bit longer to achieve their goals. They have feelings, emotions, love, and abilities.....like all of us do! And, those of us who are blessed to have someone who has DS in our lives know this truth!

In fact, some of us who have a special child, who happens to have Down syndrome, tend to think that we are more blessed than all of you who don't have a child like ours! Seriously! I personally know that I think that I'm really blessed to have Gavin in my life.....and you may find this to be a shocker, but I even want to adopt another child who has Ds! That's how blessed I feel to have a child with Down syndrome! I just wish that my child who has Ds didn't also have to have a stroke. :(

So, in spirit of this day, get to know someone who has Down syndrome.....if you put some effort into getting to know the REAL them, you will see what a gift they are to this world!

Here is Gavin wearing his "Nothing to see here, Just an extra Chromosome" shirt.



Don't you think that I'm very blessed to have this special guy in my life?



I mean.....just look at his smile!



This boy, who just happens to have an extra Chromosome.....and perhaps the best smile EVER, is seriously the light of my life!


"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

My Home & Hands are Full, And Yet My Heart feels Empty

I'm surrounded by many. I have plenty of bodies to love, and to be loved by.



My home is filled with stuff....LOTS of it!

The basement is full of toys and full of equipment.....equipment such as; handicap seating, a stander, and a walker.

My cupboards and refrigerator are full of food.....but they are also full of plenty of medications, feeding supplies, wound care supplies, respiratory supplies and gastrointestinal tube supplies.

My garage is adequately filled with 2 vehicles for our use.....actually make that 3 means of transportation, when you add in Gavin's wheelchair.

My thoughts are full of God's glory and grace, and the knowledge that I'm loved by so many. But, my thoughts are also filled with so many worries and responsibilities.

My hands and life are TRULY FULL!



So, why does my heart feel so empty sometimes?



About 4 years ago, Gavin suffered a brain injury (stroke), that killed off many of the cells throughout his entire brain.

Gavin doesn't know this. In fact, Gavin has very few cares in this world.

But, I know it.

On that day that Gavin's brain was emptied of most of it's capabilities, my heart was also emptied. And, I struggle daily with the responsibility that I have each day because of this.

My heart hurts watching my 4 1/2 year old having to lay on the floor, unable to sit up on his own......unable to really play on his own.....unable to crawl.....unable to talk.....or to walk.

My hands and my mind are so very full.....full of heartache, that cannot be erased by this world. And, on more days than not, my eyes are filled with tears, as I care for my sweet boy.



Each day it's a struggle to get up in the morning.....knowing what my day holds for me and Gavin.

I just wish that he could learn to sit-up on his own! This one accomplishment would make our lives so much more bearable! Am I really asking for too much?!

None of you can possibly understand this life and the burdens it holds, unless you are living it along with me.

I know that here is SO MUCH for me to be thankful for! I am very blessed!

But, when your home and hands are as full as mine are.....unfortunately, your heart and your dreams also tend to feel so very empty.

And, all I can do to get through my days is to pray that God will give me the necessary strength.


This day can't come fast enough for me:

"And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work." Revelation 22:12

"Surely I am coming quickly." Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus! The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen." Revelation 22:20