I can't believe that I haven't posted anything on here for over a month! We are all alive, and actually doing well.....just busy! Between school, school functions and programs, Lots of SPORTS, and just living life....I just haven't had the time to blog, or if I had the time, I just didn't feel like it or know how to put my jumbled thoughts into words! I've been thinking a lot about life, and also our prospect of adoption. And, it's been filling my brain to capacity, and making my mind just want to shut down! I feel overwhelmed, but in a good way. I just don't know how to accomplish everything that I want to do, and it frustruates me that time and money regulates my wanting to help a child, that so desperately needs love! It just shouldn't be this complicated!
Gavin has been unbelievably healthy lately.....and I am loving this! I am thanking God for this reprieve, because for awhile, I wondered if he'd ever be healthy again! We decided to take him out of school, and I believe this is how he is finally staying healthy. I am sad that he isn't able to attend school, because I know he benefitted greatly from going, and he enjoyed it too! But, my goals for him have always been, and always will be, to be HAPPY and HEALTHY. So, looking at things in this perspective, our goals for him are being fulfilled!
Today marks Joel's and my 16th wedding anniversary! We have been together for over 19 years, which is half our lives on this earth! It's been a wild ride, but one that has been filled with blessing! Happy Anniversary Joel.....I love you more today than I did 16 years ago, and I thank God for placing you in my life!
The other day I was feeling sad about how the world appears to look at those like Gavin. I was wondering who gets to decide what a person's worth is? Why do people seem to think that you have to be accomplishing so much, to really be worth anything? Having been given the gift of Gavin, I have also been given an open heart and mind, to those similiar to him. On FB, I asked people what their thoughts were on how much worth a person has. To me, God's opinion is far greater than the opinion of humans.....and since He doesn't make mistakes, I know that He finds great worth in those like Gavin. They may not be able to DO a whole lot, but they bring more to "the table" than most people I know. God's purpose for Gavin may seem trivial to many, but I believe His purpose is great!
Here is a comment, and a couple of verses that a friend left for me on FB:
"Having a child with special needs has really opened my eyes to look at the worth of others as God would, not as the world does. Sure, there are days when the world's view still hurts, but that's when I go back to these verses:"
"What people value is highly detestable in God's sight." Luke 16:5b
"For the Lord sees not as man sees, man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart." I Samuel 16:7
SO TRUE! I was thankful to have these verses to brighten my mood!
And, here is a story that another friend messaged to me:
A Blue Rose
Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went.
I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about sixteen-years-old. I wasn't in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, "Mommy, I'm over here."
It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, "Hey Buddy, what's your name?"
"My name is Denny and I'm shopping with my mother," he responded proudly.
"Wow," I said, "that's a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve."
"Steve, like Stevarino?" he asked. "Yes," I answered. "How old are you Denny?"
"How old am I now, Mommy?" he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle.
"You're fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by."
I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someone's attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.
Denny's mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn't even look at him, much less talk to him.
I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow, and pink roses in God's Garden; however, "Blue Roses" are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if someone doesn't stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they've missed a blessing from God.
She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, "Who are you?"
Without thinking I said, "Oh, I'm probably just a dandelion, but I sure love living in God's garden."
She reached out, squeezed my hand and said, "God bless you!" and then I had tears in my eyes.
May I suggest, the next time you see a BLUE ROSE, don't turn your head and walk off. Take the time to smile and say Hello. Why? Because, by the grace of GOD, this mother or father could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.
From an old dandelion! Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
I've read this story before, and it gets me crying everytime I read it!
I'm just so thankful that God chose me to have the opportunity to care for such a rare "Blue Rose." I am so blessed!
"And the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose; it shall blossom abundantly and rejoice, even with joy and singing." Isaiah 35:1b-2a