I have been very weary today. I am so sad continually watching Gavin suffer! In my last update I told you that Gavin wasn't gagging as much, but the last couple of days it's as bad as ever! He still continues to have seizures as well! He is on 3 medications to stop them, but it's obviously not working! Tomorrow he has a neurologist appointment. I pray they have a new plan that will work this time! It really gets to me some days! Today is one of those days! On days like this I have a difficult time understanding God's purpose for Gavin and our family. As a christian I know that God has a purpose in all of this, but as a human being, with emotions, it's hard to accept it. Why Gavin? Why us? Some people seem to have the 'perfect' life, while Gavin has to go through sooo much and I have to watch him go through it all! It feels like I'm sufficating some days! I just want to walk away from it all because I don't want to witness his suffering anymore! I guess this is similar to how God felt watching Jesus suffer for our sins. There was a purpose for Christ's suffering and I know that there is a purpose for our suffering as well. Today I was praying to God that Jesus would return soon, so that this suffering would end. The amazing thing is that right after praying this I opened up a book that we were given by a friend from church. Guess what I read?! "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth...There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain...He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Revelation 21:1, 4-5" Boy did I need to hear this today!!! This made me cry harder, but I was crying with thankfulness! I find myself sinking so often, but God always gives me what I stand in need of for the moment! Sometimes I read something. Sometimes someone calls with a kind word. Sometimes we receive something in the mail that brightens our day. I'm so thankful for this much needed comfort! I believe that God uses each of us and sometimes even a book to do his work. Thankyou for letting God use so many of you to help our family get through our difficult days! I am thankful for God and I'm thankful for you!
Love, Alicia and Family