In the last post I talked about not being in control of our lives. A couple of days ago I had an experience that proved just that! Thanks to a cute, black lab who was wearing a bright red collar, I had quite a scare! I was driving to school to pick Jacob and Nolan up, when a young pup decided to run out into the road right in front of me! I needed to decide whether to hit the dog or to swerve out of the way. I decided to swerve and I lost all control of our van! The roads were very snow and ice covered. We were swerving to the left, then the right, then sideways, and then we plowed through a big snow bank on the side of the road! We probably traveled about 10 yards through the snow bank, with me unable to see anything with the snow blowing up over the van and blinding me. It was scary! I was definitely NOT in control! Thankfully God was! I remember saying, "Please God, Please!" He heard my cries and we came out of it alive and well! So did the pup! We were blessed to not have any other cars on the other side of the road or behind us and we hit the snow bank at an area where there were no poles, trees, mailboxes or street signs! I looked around afterwards and realized just how blessed we were! Not only that, right after it happened another parent drove down the street and between he and a kind neighbor, they shoveled and pulled us out! God is so good!
It got me thinking more about my life thus far. There have been so many times that I wish that I had control over so many situations, but when looking back on them I am so thankful that I was not the one in control! Looking back decisions that I would have made would have been poor choices. Also situations and time frames that changed, which caused me so much turmoil at the time, always turned out for the better! One example is when I became pregnant with Jacob. Joel and I had a plan to wait 4 years before we would get pregnant. He was going to finish college and I was going to support us, but instead we became pregnant 4 weeks after we got married! I was a mess and not ready to take on this responsibility! Looking back on it now, I would not change a thing! After Joel's dad passed away, I realized that the timing was right because he was able to be a grandpa for awhile and Jacob brought some much needed happiness during a very sad time. Also, I can't imagine not having Jacob at the age that he is now. He has been such a help to me with Gavin! He has been a rock and such a great big brother to him! God had a plan that I didn't agree with at the time, but today I am so thankful that my plans were not His!
Another situation that I am so thankful did not work out the way it was 'supposed' to is the day of Gavin's first heart surgery. It was canceled because Gavin had a fever. We were all packed up to travel 2+ hours away, when he got sick. I was frustruated because we had packed and prepared our hearts for this big day. I am SO thankful that God's plan was not our's and the doctor's plan! The 10-14 day stay turned into a 3 month stay and we would have missed out on spending the holidays with our family and our other boys. God's plan was perfect!
One thing that I do question is why we were transfered back to the hospital where Gavin ended up having his stroke, due to errors of doctors and nurses??? Why didn't we just stay at the hospital far from home, where they had gotten to know Gavin so well and where they probably would not have made the same choices that doctors did at the hospital near our home? Why did this have to occur? Today I can't necessarily see the purpose for this, but I do know that there IS a purpose for it! I may not be able to rationalize what good has come out of it, but knowing that God is in control and His plan and purpose is ALWAYS perfect, I can accept that there was a reason for things to go the way that they did. Someday.....Some glorious day!..... I will know why.
This makes me think about the story of Joseph in the Bible. Can you imagine having to go through all that he did? His own brothers beat him, sold him into slavery, and he spent years in prison! He suffered through a lot, but there was a great purpose for his suffering!(Genesis 37) Through his suffering and God's power and wisdom, Joseph's life and trials held a GREAT purpose!(Genesis 42-47) Throughout all of his trials, Joseph could have been angry with God, but instead he accepted the situations that he was placed in and, in turn, found favor in God's eyes! Joseph's purpose for suffering was made known to him in the end. The purpose of some of the suffering that we go through may never be made known to us, but what a comfort to know that THERE IS A PURPOSE and a loving God to get us through!
Joseph said: "And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance." Genesis 45:7
"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1