Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hang on tight and try to enjoy the ride!

In the last post I talked about not being in control of our lives. A couple of days ago I had an experience that proved just that! Thanks to a cute, black lab who was wearing a bright red collar, I had quite a scare! I was driving to school to pick Jacob and Nolan up, when a young pup decided to run out into the road right in front of me! I needed to decide whether to hit the dog or to swerve out of the way. I decided to swerve and I lost all control of our van! The roads were very snow and ice covered. We were swerving to the left, then the right, then sideways, and then we plowed through a big snow bank on the side of the road! We probably traveled about 10 yards through the snow bank, with me unable to see anything with the snow blowing up over the van and blinding me. It was scary! I was definitely NOT in control! Thankfully God was! I remember saying, "Please God, Please!" He heard my cries and we came out of it alive and well! So did the pup! We were blessed to not have any other cars on the other side of the road or behind us and we hit the snow bank at an area where there were no poles, trees, mailboxes or street signs! I looked around afterwards and realized just how blessed we were! Not only that, right after it happened another parent drove down the street and between he and a kind neighbor, they shoveled and pulled us out! God is so good!

It got me thinking more about my life thus far. There have been so many times that I wish that I had control over so many situations, but when looking back on them I am so thankful that I was not the one in control! Looking back decisions that I would have made would have been poor choices. Also situations and time frames that changed, which caused me so much turmoil at the time, always turned out for the better! One example is when I became pregnant with Jacob. Joel and I had a plan to wait 4 years before we would get pregnant. He was going to finish college and I was going to support us, but instead we became pregnant 4 weeks after we got married! I was a mess and not ready to take on this responsibility! Looking back on it now, I would not change a thing! After Joel's dad passed away, I realized that the timing was right because he was able to be a grandpa for awhile and Jacob brought some much needed happiness during a very sad time. Also, I can't imagine not having Jacob at the age that he is now. He has been such a help to me with Gavin! He has been a rock and such a great big brother to him! God had a plan that I didn't agree with at the time, but today I am so thankful that my plans were not His!

Another situation that I am so thankful did not work out the way it was 'supposed' to is the day of Gavin's first heart surgery. It was canceled because Gavin had a fever. We were all packed up to travel 2+ hours away, when he got sick. I was frustruated because we had packed and prepared our hearts for this big day. I am SO thankful that God's plan was not our's and the doctor's plan! The 10-14 day stay turned into a 3 month stay and we would have missed out on spending the holidays with our family and our other boys. God's plan was perfect!

One thing that I do question is why we were transfered back to the hospital where Gavin ended up having his stroke, due to errors of doctors and nurses??? Why didn't we just stay at the hospital far from home, where they had gotten to know Gavin so well and where they probably would not have made the same choices that doctors did at the hospital near our home? Why did this have to occur? Today I can't necessarily see the purpose for this, but I do know that there IS a purpose for it! I may not be able to rationalize what good has come out of it, but knowing that God is in control and His plan and purpose is ALWAYS perfect, I can accept that there was a reason for things to go the way that they did. Someday.....Some glorious day!..... I will know why.

This makes me think about the story of Joseph in the Bible. Can you imagine having to go through all that he did? His own brothers beat him, sold him into slavery, and he spent years in prison! He suffered through a lot, but there was a great purpose for his suffering!(Genesis 37) Through his suffering and God's power and wisdom, Joseph's life and trials held a GREAT purpose!(Genesis 42-47) Throughout all of his trials, Joseph could have been angry with God, but instead he accepted the situations that he was placed in and, in turn, found favor in God's eyes! Joseph's purpose for suffering was made known to him in the end. The purpose of some of the suffering that we go through may never be made known to us, but what a comfort to know that THERE IS A PURPOSE and a loving God to get us through!


Joseph said: "And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance." Genesis 45:7

"To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

8 comments:

Annette Gysen said...

I'm so thankful that God protected you and kept you safe! That must have been so scary! And it is interesting how things look with the benefit of hindsight.

Lacey said...

Every time i read your blog there is something familiar. Jax had been on the vent for two months, and was finally going in for his heart surgery and he spiked a fever and they wouldn't do it, I was devastated, I thought I would never hold my baby again and he would always have that darn tube. There are so many times I try to explain to my husband why God does things, even though I question it myself so many times, he is harder to convince. He doesn't understand why God does this to our kids, who are so small and helpless. Everytime he meets a new kid with lots of problems he will say, there is no God. But I do see so many times that I was carried and everything turned out ok in the end. I'm glad everyone is ok, that was a scary ride.

My name is Sarah said...

This is Joyce. Oh my how scary. I am so glad you were safe. I promise when Gavin is nearing 20 like our Sarah, so many things will become clearer, some crystal clear. Time and God have a way of helping us see the big picture. I marvel daily about how it all comes together. Thank you for this beautiful post today.

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

So scary, Im so thankful you are all ok...

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you guys are ok!!! It is such a frightening feeling to lose control of your vehicle.
Isn't it amazing (at first frustrating of course) when things don't go as planned - usually turn out better than we had originally planned... It is a great feeling when you finally realize why things had to turn out the way they did.
I remember at my dad's funeral Jacob asked me why I was crying and I told him I was sad - he gave me the BIGGEST hug, it made me feel some much better. He has always been such a sweet boy. You and Joel have done such a fantastic job raising your kids - I can only hope my kids can be that terrific some day...
(oh no.. it's in writing...)

Aunt Jill

TCM said...

ok this is just what I needed to hear! Thanks Alicia for remaining teachable! I've hardened up, but reading of Joseph and all he went through, I am thankful he did because he has encouraged me and what I am going through now. I am very glad that you all are o.k.... What an impacfull reminder that He is in control... we are the tenants, He is the Master... I am preaching to myself... thanks for your encouragement friend! Love you!!!!

Amy said...

Thank God you were all OK! And the puppy, too! Naughty little buddy needs to stay out of the road! But, maybe God put him there to give you the great perspective you just shared with us. You are always so great at gleaning these lessons - so glad you write them her for us all to learn from, too. :o)

As for Jake's timing, I still remember like it was yesterday when you called to tell me you were pregnant. You said, "Well...I have some news (*sigh*); you're going to be an aunt (think Eeyore, here)" and I was all, "Um...are you expecting me to be upset about this? Because WOO HOOOOOOOOOO!" Haha! Hard to believe Jake has already been in our lives for almost THIRTEEN years, but THANK GOD for that!! :o)

Love you all! Have a great weekend!

Heather said...

First and foremost thank you for your constant words and prayers for Zoey and our entire family.Others,like yourself, are what truly see us through our days.Second,I thank you for your posts.They always have the right combination of humanness and Godliness.Does that make sense?What I mean to say is that you have a way of being honest with your struggles and the lack of clarity on direction and purpose but you always circle back to His plan.His timing and His purpose.I appreciate it so much because it is often what I need.A nudge and reminder on days that are veiled with misunderstanding.I love the pictures of Gavin with his new tot.He looks so very precious and reminds me of Zoey when I look at his eyes.There is just something about him that I am so drawn to!