Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Still in the Hospital
Gavin is starting to come around a little, but will be in the hospital a couple more days at least. He is still on oxygen, which is running at 2 1/2 - 3 liters, except for when he is sleeping, then he is requiring more. He is coughing less, but still quite forcefully when he does. He seems to be feeling a whole lot better. He's sleeping less, "talking" more and even gave me a couple of smiles again! It is great to see him acting more like himself! I am a little worried that he is requiring so much oxygen, but hopefully this will come around soon too!
I now remember why I hate being in the hospital so much! Life is just too hectic! It's difficult rearranging schedules, finding people to watch our other boys, trying to make sure that they aren't being neglected during all of this too, running back and forth from home to hospital, not getting enough sleep, not seeing your husband except for in passing as you switch shifts,etc............Not Fun!!! We are doing well considering, but only because we have wonderful mothers who are always there for us! THANK YOU MOMS!!! I just hate feeling so spread thin and worrying how our other boys are doing because of all the craziness! I hope they are doing well, they seem to being doing well, but who knows?
Gavin has been able to stay in ICU up until now, but will have to move to the dreaded floor this evening! This will make things more difficult, but we'll survive I'm sure. I just dread going there because this is where Gavin had his stroke and where he wasn't observed as well as he should have been, so it's kind of scary.
I am a firm believer of there always being a reason for everything. So, I'm always looking for the silver lining of why things happen. I think being back in the hospital will make me more thankful for the health that Gavin has been having up until now and make me happier being 'stuck' at home. I had been feeling depressed about things and found myself trying to control things that were just out of my hands. I am going to look at this hospitalization as a gift from God. It may be stressful and not where I want to be, but I am learning a lesson and can actually say that I'm thankful for it! I had been feeling so anxious and not giving all of my fears to God. This time of testing has made me realize that my fears are just that, fears.....I can let them consume me, or I can let go and let God. My fear of being back in the hospital and having Gavin become sick were seriously consuming me and it didn't feel good at all! Now that Gavin is in the hospital, I can see that my fears were out of control and that I should not have worried so much! It will just be another lesson to add to my very big book! Hopefully some day I will be able to look back on this time and it will help me when I am in a state like I had been in! I always say that our boys are slow learners when it comes to many things, but obviously I am too in this regard! :)
I am happy to report that Gavin's heart condition has nothing to do with this episode. They did an echo of his heart yesterday and his heart function is good, his pulmonary pressures are still good and the leak in his mitral valve has not worsened at all! YAY! Another fear removed from my always thinking mind!
So, although not where I want to be, there is still A LOT to be thankful for! Thank you for the many messages of support! Thank you for your prayers! And, Thanks to everyone that has helped us or who have offered to help us! We are VERY BLESSED!
""Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."" Matthew 11:28-29