I used to think that I was a patient person. Lately, I am not feeling very patient! Since coming down with this illness, all I want is to feel better.....right now! With Spring just around the corner.....I want it here...now! When our boys are getting ready for school in the morning.....I want them to move, but faster! Looking towards Heaven is always a wonderful thought.....but you guessed it.....I don't want to wait!
The things of this life have taught me that waiting is a difficult thing to do! I no longer consider myself a very patient person. Maybe it has something to do with having children. They sure are great at sucking the patience and energy right out of you! :)
This life has also taught me that things don't often turn out the way that we planned them to. I might plan to have a birthday party for our boys, but then we get sick and have to schedule it for another day. Or, when Gavin was scheduled to have his first heart surgery, we were told that we should expect to be in the hospital for 7-14 days.....well that turned into over 4 months, so not only were our plans changed, we also had to do A LOT of waiting! This is just a part of life.
This weekend, still being sick, I watched several movies while recooperating. I love movies that are deep and that make me think! I like to feel something from a movie and I really like it when it makes me evaluate things. One of the movies that I watched this weekend was the movie; Signs.
I have seen part of this movie before and I thought that it was kind of weird, since it has crop circles and aliens in it.....I don't believe in either of these things. But, this time around it really made me think. It has a great ending to it. In the movie, lots of things have gone bad in the main character's life. And, some annoying things happen that he wishes hadn't happened. He ends up becoming somewhat of a bitter person, because he hates what life has handed him. BUT.....in the end, he is given the reasons why a lot of things had to happen in his life! He wasn't happy with his life and what happened, but God had a great purpose in all of these things! It has a powerful ending and even though the rest of the movie is about aliens, I highly recommend it, if only for the ending!
It made me think about my life and why things have happened the way that they have. Some things have been rough, but even now I see why certain things happened the way that they did. It may have been a difficult road for awhile, but the destination was worth it!
The other movie that touched me was; Something the Lord Made. It is about the doctor and his assistant, that did the first heart surgery in the U.S. It is set in the 30s and 40's, a time when many babies died from heart defects. It is a fact-based movie and it was so powerful for me to watch, especially since Gavin has been through several heart surgeries! It has a great message too.....that all people are worthy of respect, no matter their race or social level. This duo of men came up with research and surgeries that makes it possible for babies to live today. I am so thankful to God that He gave and gives doctors the skills needed to prolong our lives! It amazes me how far medicine has come in quite a short period of time! I can't imagine not having Gavin here today and because of the God-given skills that doctors and surgeons have, we are blessed to see life continue even though it can be so very fragile at times! I would highly recommend this movie as well!
Waiting can be so very trying on a person, especially a Momma, but in the end it's good for us! I can't explain why certain things have happened in my life and I have not always been happy with the outcome, but looking back now, I am able to see the silver lining in everything! I can even see the silver lining when looking back on Gavin having his stroke! This shocks me to be able to say this, but great things have come from the hardships that he and we have had to go through because of it. I don't know the future and honestly, the future concerning Gavin scares me, but I do know WHO holds the future and I also know that God hasn't left me yet, so the future has to be bright!
I know that I will suffer some more. I know that things won't always be easy. And, I know that I will have to wait some more. But, hopefully I will always remember that things have always turned out in the end!
Speaking of waiting.......
Here are some pictures of our boys waiting for Gavin's bus. One or all of them usually run down to get Gavin off the bus for me each day. They get so excited to have Gavin come home from school and it makes me so happy to see their excitement!
Jacob usually pushes Gavin's wheelchair back up the driveway and Nolan and Caleb race them back!
What is so sweet is that Nolan and Caleb are usually ahead of Gavin, but at the very end they pretend to fall or slow down, so that Gavin gets the chance to cross the finish line and "win" the race!
Have I mentioned what great brothers Gavin has?! They drive me crazy most of the day, but deep down they are such wonderful boys! I am so blessed!
"But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31