Friday, May 23, 2008

Suffering

I've been thinking a lot about all the pain and suffering in this world. I read about so many children and families who are dealing with so much! While I am struggling some days with my family's own suffering, it is the struggles that I see others facing that really gets me down! Yes, I'm sad that Gavin may never progress further than the level he is at now, but I have a huge faith in God that He will give us ALL the strength and peace to face this future! We could NOT do it on our own and I'm thankful that I know the word of God, because by knowing this, there is nothing to fear! I feel so blessed to know this! I think about those who might not know this truth. I have no idea how they get through each day and especially when a tragedy occurs! Some people have said to me, "How do you know that God is real and that His word is true?" My answer is that I have faith! Faith that was given to me through the Holy Spirit! What a gift! I've been asked, "What if you are wrong about God?" Well, my answer is this; I am very confident that I am not wrong, but if I were, What do I have to lose?! Nothing! Those who think they are right, on the other hand, have much to lose! Eternity in heaven! I can get through every day, even with all the pain and suffering in this world, because I know that this life is short in comparison to our life, for those who believe in God, that is to come! Do I still worry and hurt? Yes! But, I know that the rewards we will receive in heaven will greatly overshadow the suffering we encounter here on earth! Do I ever feel jealous of people who seemingly have such a "perfect" life? Yes! But, then I think about my PERFECT life to come! I can handle this life a whole lot easier when I think about the gift that I have been given. The most wonderful gift! The gift of faith and the gift of Jesus! Thank you Lord for this gift!

Some days I do feel very alone because I don't really have anyone who totally understands what it is like to care for a child like Gavin. I read about many families who have lost their precious children (and I can't really relate to them, although I know it must be the worst pain ever!), I also read about families who are caring for their precious children, who may or may not get better, (but their situations are so much different from mine and Gavin's.) What I read brings me such clarity and appreciation for what I have, but I have not really found a site that I can totally relate to. Until yesterday. O.K., I can't totally relate to this mother, but the feelings that she has expressed really made me feel not so alone. The feelings of being a foreigner out in public, with or without Gavin. The feelings of uncertainty. The feelings of worry. The feelings of seeing your child as SO much more than others possibly can! When I am at home with Gavin I feel so much better, than when I am out with him. I see the progress that he has made and I see how he is trying to relate to us, by 'talking' to us and smiling at us, things that are huge to me, but probably don't seem like much to others who don't know him the way that I do. Anyway, I'm adding this mother's site to ours (on the side bar), because I know that this family could use your prayers and she is good at expressing what it's like to care for a special child. The site is: http://www.newkindofnormal.blogspot.com/

I worry how having Gavin may be affecting our other boys. Are they jealous of other families? Are they embarrassed by having such a different situation and a brother with special needs? Jacob gave me such a gift this week by saying something. He said, "Gavin sure has changed our lives!" He said this with a smile. I asked if that change was good or bad. He said, "Good!" He really loves Gavin and takes such good care of him! He also asked for me to bring Gavin along with me to school today to help out with field day instead of finding someone to watch Gavin. He wants to show him off, so he must not be embarrassed! He said, "Gavin will be the star!" As a soon to be teenager, he just doesn't seem to care about being different ever! I know I would have cared at his age. So, again, I am taught a very important lesson from one of my children! Different does not matter! What matters is love! I saw something on the news the other night about this man who has 3 pets; a dog, a cat and a rat. In nature these animals normally wouldn't care for one another, if fact, they would most likely hate each other and try to hurt one another because they are different. These three instead loved each other and would walk around on top of each other! The dog carried the cat and the cat carried the rat! It was so cute and, I thought, a very valuable lesson! In these days of elections and people being right or wrong and different from one another, can't we just try to help each other out and show some love?! We all just need to try to get along and, as Nolan prayed at dinner last night, "Help us to fully put our trust in You Lord!" AMEN!

"But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgement seat of Christ." Romans 14:10

9 comments:

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

thanks!!!!

Annette Selden said...

Encouraging post, Alicia. It is important and helpful to find someone who can relate, even though everyone's trial is. And I'm sure that your boys will respond to the situation in the positive way that they've seen response modeled by their parents. You see Gavin as a gift, so they do too! But it does put things in perspective when we hear about thousands who have died and lost homes in Myanmar and China--and probably few of them have the comfort of Jesus. It IS heartbreaking.

Anonymous said...

You are so right in what you write!

I can totally relate on how important it is to find someone who can relate to you on what is going on with your child and your feelings too. When I am home with my little guy, everything is perfect. He has no delays. He is perfect in my eyes. It is different when you go out and you see other kids your childs age, doing age appropriate things....it is hard to not be jealous, it is hard to not to have your heart ache for your child. It is hard!

And, just an hour ago I had this overwhelming sadness for the world too! Reading your post just now, shocked me! I wonder sometimes if I should stop following these families whom are going thru so much. But, I won't! I will pray for them and there families and add in all of the other people, that I could possibly not know. GOD does have a plan for us all. And we should put our trust in HIM.

God Bless you, and keep writing, I learn so much from you. Thank you!

Cindy

The VW's said...

Jessica,

You're welcome! And, Thank You for helping me to not feel so alone!

Alicia


Annette,

Thank You! Yes, it is heart breaking to think of those suffering without the comfort of God! We have much to be thankful for!

Alicia


Cindy,

Thank You for your kind words! Yes, it is so wonderful when you find someone to relate to! You have helped me in this department as well! Our tough little guys ARE perfect in our eyes and made just the way they were meant to be!

Alicia

Tamara said...

Oh my goodness I am so glad that my friend gave me your blogsite!!!! I have been blogging for a few months and have not found anyone that I can really relate too, but here you are! My daughter Abigail has epilepsly, partial CP, can not walk, stand, talk or sit. She has a feeing tube, has had a bi-lateral stroke and more and is ABSOLUTELY the best/worst gift the Lord has blessed us with.. I say that because I know you relate! OHHHH I am so excited to meet you via our blogs! I love your posts and as I sit and read them can identify with you so completely! Your feeling and emotions are felt here daily in COLORADO! I would love to chat with you! Gavin is so wonderful and I just LOVE his glasses! I wondered if Abby would need them as she is legally bling in her right eye and we are not sure how well she see in her left.... OH write to me please!!!! Your already friend, Tamara!

Tamara said...

Ops... Abigails site is; sweetlittlelamb.blogspot.com
I hope you don't mind, but I put your link on her site with the other sites we are praying for. Tamara

The VW's said...

Tamara,

Thank you for contacting me! It is so helpful to have those who can relate to you! We have to support one another! I'll be checking out your site and praying for you and Abigail!

Alicia

Kim (marygracesummons.blogspot.com) said...

Alicia,
Oh that feeling when you find someone who can relate! It's bitter sweet cause I didn't want anyone to be given what I had but yet it was awesome because no one else could truly understand. So....only for that reason am I so glad you found someone. Unfortunately more will find you, but it's wonderful how God brings you these people. I really don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found the core group I did. Thank you for always thinking of me and commenting on my blog. I read about you and sweet Gavin and am praying for all your needs and wishes. You are a blessing to so many, especially your boys.
With love,
Kim

The VW's said...

Kim,

You are right. It is such a blessing to have those around who you can relate to, but yet sad since that means that they, too, are facing great difficulty. Know that I think of and pray for your family daily. I pray that God will always give you the peace and strength needed to walk the path He has laid out before you! God Bless You!

Alicia