When I take Gavin out in public, which I am doing a little more of lately, people usually smile and comment on how cute he is. This especially happens when he has his glasses on. This makes me feel good! But, then they usually ask how old he is. This makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. If I tell them how old he is they usually look confused since he is so far behind developmentally. Otherwise people assume he's much younger than he his or that he's sleeping because he's usually laying down in his stroller or I'm holding him up over my shoulder since he has very little head control and can't sit up on his own. I most often times tell them that he's 1 year old. This IS the truth, but he's actually closer to 2 years old. I guess I tell them this because I'm uncomfortable with what they must be thinking and I don't really feel like dealing with the questions. Why do I care what they think?! I should not care what others may be thinking about Gavin since I know just how far he HAS progressed with ALL that he's had to go through! In fact, I was planning on doing an update about the little progresses that he has made lately, until I started thinking about these other insecurities. I will update on the positive news another day, but today I feel that I need to focus on this instead.
Why do many of us care what others think about us? I got to thinking about how teenagers usually feel and then I got to thinking about feelings that I've had about relationships with some family and friends in the past. Why have I put so much thought and worry into impressing and pleasing others that I know that no matter what I do , say or act like, they just won't get me or think positively about me anyway! It really is ridiculous when you think about it! My mom has told me for years that you will come to a time in your life when the little things just don't matter and that pleasing everyone will never happen, so just try not to worry about it. I believe that time has come! :) What a relief! Instead of caring about what others think about me, I think I'll try to put more of a focus on caring what God sees in me! He's the only one that I should be trying to please and then everyone else should be happy with me. And if they aren't, then I shouldn't be putting the effort in anyway because obviously we are way to different to begin with and I'll probably never make them happy anyway! I get so frustruated when I hear people say that Christians think that they are better than everyone else and that they are so judgemental! While some may feel this way, most do not if they truly understand the Word of God! If you understand that you needed Jesus to die for your sins and that you are a sinner, then you would actually think the very opposite! How could a Christian be better than anyone else? We ALL needed Jesus to die for our sins, no matter how great or small those sins are! In fact, if you are a Christian, you should just be thankful for the fact that you are blessed with this most awesome gift and not feeling that you are better because you are one! I hope that I can live my life trying to please God and not worrying about pleasing the world, because that will never happen! So, from now on when someone asks me how old Gavin is, I plan on saying; "He's almost 2 years old and I'm so proud of the accomplishments he's made in his short and complicated life!" Oh, the lessons I've learned by having this little guy in my life! There is so much more to care about!
I'm adding another site that you can go to on the side bar. I've found another little one and her family to pray for: http://www.sweetlittlelamb.blogspot.com/ Please check out their site and show your support because I know how helpful this can be!
"Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven. For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost." Matthew 18:10-11