Friday, May 8, 2009

Forever a Baby

I absolutely ADORE babies!!! I always have. I don't think that there is anything else on this earth that makes me more happy than a baby! My most favorite stage of a baby's life would probably be at 6 months of age. They are usually able to sit up at this age, yet unable to crawl and get away. They are so interactive and cute at this age! Plus, they can't talk back to you yet, but they are usually saying 'ma ma' and 'da da.' I have said many times; "How perfect it would be if they could just stay this way forever." Well, now I'm second thinking those remarks!

I kind of got what I wanted. Gavin will most likely stay a 'baby' forever, thanks to the stroke that he had. Depending on how long God plans on keeping him here on this earth, (with his lung and heart issues, his life expectancy is much shorter than our own), his life will be spent living mostly babylike. He is at about a 2 month level now. I pray that he can get to at least a 6 month level, because that is my favorite age :), plus then he could at least sit up on his own. Only God knows how far Gavin will advance.

There are many positives to having him stay a 'baby' forever. He will always like to cuddle with me! He won't talk back to me! I can always dress him however I want! He'll always live with me, at least until I can no longer care for him, ETC...

BUT...lately I've been thinking about the many negatives as well. Such as the following: He WILL grow and get bigger. This will make for a very heavy 'baby'! He can't tell me what he needs or feels. (This one especially bothers me!) So often I think to myself, "Is he hungry? Is he cold? Is he hot? Does he hurt? Is he bored? Is he enjoying this? How would I know if something bad happened to him when I wasn't around? Does he want something? Does he have an itch? Is he comfortable?.....and the list goes on! I am constantly thinking of his needs. I want him to be happy and comfortable, but since he can't tell me if he is, I need to make sure that he is feeling as good as he possibly can be.

I love Gavin just the way that he is! But, I sure hope that he is loving life the way that it is for him. He's my 'baby' and he will always be my 'baby'!

And, just because I am CRAZY and I LOVE baby bottoms, I had to take a picture of Gavin's! Don't worry it's covered! Check out this Levi's covered bum! I'm in love!

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things. Sufficient for the day is it's own trouble." Matthew 6:34


Lacey said...

Baby butts and feetsy's are my favorite. We have all the same wants as you for Jax. If only he could just sit up, so he could play with other kids, even though he could care less about toys and other people. Someday maybe, we'll keep dreaming.

Marissa said...

What a mixed blessing you have in Gavin. Just from an outsider's perspective, at least through the pictures you post here, I can tell that Gavin is one happy boy. He is always smiling and he has the best smile, by the way!

Baby tooshies are THE BEST!!! SO cute!

And, what do you know, my favorite age is 6 to 9 months! For all the reasons you listed.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day!!


Michelle said...

Oh my goodness how those same words have escaped my own lips and the same thoughts pervade my mind with Lillian. I believe God will give us the ability to discern what we may not be able to get from our special blessings!!

Have a great Mother's Day!!

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

Love the picture!
I had someone tell me once (who is not the parent of a special child) that I was lucky that Alex would always stay child like, it certaibly does have sweet benefits, but so many other hard issues that come along with it.
I couldnt do it without my other mommas!

Cindy said...


Cathy said...

What a cute butt! Wishing you a very Happy Mother's Day.

TUC said...

What a beautiful love you have for your baby.

Heather said...

Understand completely where you are coming from.Although Zoey can do a few more things then say Gavin or Jax,I still know she is so very far away from most other children with Down syndrome her age.I know she will probably never talk or truly understand what I am saying and the meaning of the words I am speaking to her but I know for certain she knows I love her ... just like Gavin knows you love him.Happy Mother's Day.You are a fabulous mommy to all of your beautiful boys.Never doubt that.

Inspired said...

Love the Levi's baby bum!!

You are a wonderful mother and Gavin (and all your boys) are blessed to have you.

Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day. You deserve it!