I absolutely LOVE babies! I also love children! They are truly what makes this life great! I can't imagine not being a mom and I feel so blessed that God has given me the gift of motherhood! I love having children in my life!
I've been wanting more children in my life.....but I'm not talking about having more of my own.....although I do desire to adopt a child someday. The children I've been longing for in my life would not be mine. They would be someone else's that I could visit and spoil and love and them leave them with their parents! :)
I have REALLY wanted to be an Aunt for quite sometime! And, Guess What??!! I am finally going to get my wish! Not only am I going to be an Aunt, I'm going to be an Aunt times two!
My sister, Amy, is going to have a baby! AND, Joel's sister, Jill, is going to be having one too! I am So EXCITED about this and so happy for them both! I've been waiting to officially become an Aunt for so long.....I mean, I have a 14 year old! Don't ya think it's about time that I should be able to spoil someone else's child?!
Anyway, I am so excited! Thanks Amy and Mark and Jill and Mike for this wonderful opportunity! We are very happy for you and can't wait to meet your bundles of joy!
Nolan also got some baby news at school this week. His teacher is expecting her first child! Nolan is quite excited about this! I don't know if this makes him "Uncle Nolan" or not, but you'd think that it did, to see how excited he was when he told me the great news!
Babies are such a gift from God!
So, Congrats to all you wonderful Ladies!
Now, onto my feelings.
A few months ago, I read a friend's blog, where she shared why she wasn't a good person to talk to a pregnant woman. I could totally relate to what she was saying!
I am always so excited for women when they tell me that they are having a baby! But, I feel like I'm the woman that they fear while they are pregnant. I am someone who had an abnormal experience.....my baby was born with something wrong with him! I am the biggest fear of a pregnant lady. I don't know if they feel this way around me, but this is how I feel.
Most women deliver perfectly healthy and typical babies, so no one should feel this way around me knowing that Gavin was born with DS and heart defects. But, the probability is good, that I may make these ladies feel uneasy, thinking of what I have went through. And, this makes me sad.
It makes me sad, because I definitely don't want to be a reason for someone to worry during their pregnancy. And, it makes me sad, because I know how wonderful the gift of Gavin has actually been to me, and anyone who received a "Gavin" would be truly blessed, they just don't know it yet, like I didn't know before I was given Gavin!
There has been a whole lot of heartache in my life since Gavin joined our family, but I can honestly say that there is much more happiness since he's come along, than saddness. He is truly my greatest gift ever given to me!
I just commented on another friend's blog about something Jacob recently said about Gavin. Jacob said, "Gavin is such a good person!" I didn't think much about this statement until later, but when I did think about it, I realized what he meant.
Gavin is truly a good person! He sins in his own way, but there is mostly goodness that pours from him! He never has a bad thing to say to anyone. He almost always has a smile for you, if you just give him a tiny bit of attention. He loves unconditionally. And, he makes people happy by just laying there, being him! How many other people in this world can you say this about?
Most of us struggle to keep a good attitude throughout the day. We are sometimes grumpy, selfish, etc. But, Gavin is very consistant in being a great human being! He is the one person that can put a smile on my face, no matter how grumpy I am! He is the one that fills my heart with peace, when I am feeling over-burdened. He is simply a "good person!"
This is why I know that ALL women would be happy to have a blessed child like Gavin! He is such a gift to our family and I thank God for him daily!
Of couse, I have all this information in hind sight, so I know what a blessing a child like Gavin is! So, I totally understand it if other pregnant women might feel uncomfortable aroung me and "my story." I guess the moral of all of this is: ALL children are a gift from the Lord!
But..........then there are times that I open my mouth and wish that I hadn't! Sometimes I find myself saying something totally inappropriate and kick myself for saying it! I did this lastnight, while talking to 2 pregnant women. I hate myself today, for giving them any reason for worry during their pregnancy!
We were talking about being pregnant and sharing our stories, like women do, and one of them was saying how sick she felt and the other said, "Well, at least this means that everything is alright." Then, out of my mouth, without even thinking, I said, "I used to think that until I had Gavin." AAUGGHH!!!
What an insensitive thing to say to a pregnant woman! I didn't even think! I was just talking as friends do! I could have kicked myself after I said it though.
The fact is, I was very sick while pregnant with Gavin and it obviously didn't mean a thing, since he was born with heart defects and ended up going down hill from that point on. Every women's "story", while pregnant is different and I truly didn't mean anything by what I said, but I am feeling sick about it today.
So, obviously I am not a good person to talk to a pregnant woman either!
I know in my heart that every child is a perfect blessing from God and that this blessing will make your life better than you can possibly imagine it to be! I guess I should just stick with saying this to a pregnant woman! This is my plan in the future, but just in case you are pregnant and don't want to face me saying something that I wish that I hadn't said.....maybe you should just stay away from me until your wonderful blessing is born! And, if you don't stay away, I'm sorry in advance, if I do say something that makes you wish you hadn't talked to me in the first place. Just know, that my heart means good and that I KNOW that your life is about to get better, no matter what the Lord has planned for you and your baby!
Here is a picture of 2 of my blessings from God. They had a Spring program to sing in at school lastnight. Aren't they a handsome duo?! I am so blessed!
"For He has strengthened the bars of your gates; He has blessed your children within you." Psalm 147:13