Wednesday, January 26, 2011

What's Wrong?

Our oldest is home from school sick today. He has a sore throat, a head and neck ache, and he feels tired and achey. How do I know that Jacob feels this way?.....Because he told me so.

Last Thursday, I sent Gavin off to school on the bus. That morning he was a happy little guy and he seemed happy to get on the bus too. I was looking forward to getting some laundry done, and then I was planning to head to the store for some groceries. About an hour after he left our house, I received a phone call from his teacher. She said, "Gavin isn't his happy self. He cried all the way to school and he's been crying ever since he got off the bus. I thought you would want to know that something is going on. I checked his tube to make sure it wasn't pulling. We took his temperature. I looked him over for anything that might be hurting him or bugging him, but we can't find anything that could be wrong." I heard him sobbing over the phone, and this broke my heart!

I asked if she had tried taking off his shoes, because sometimes his toes get curled up in them, so she took off his shoes, and he stopped crying! She said, "Maybe that was what was wrong with him. I'll call you later if he starts crying again." About 10 minutes later, she called me back to tell me that he had fallen asleep and that all was well. So, I went about doing my chores and getting ready to go to the store. Ten minutes later, she called back to say, "He's awake and he's NOT happy!" She said that she was very willing to keep him there, but wanted to know if I wanted him to ride the bus home, if he continued to cry. I told her that I would be there in 20 minutes, and I left to bring Gavin back home.

When I got there, he was no longer crying, but he looked really sad and as if he'd been through a rough day! I went over to him and he sighed, gave me a little smile and started "talking" to me. I was so happy to see that he was alright, but I was wondering.....Why had he been so upset?!

It's so frustruating when you can't ask your 4 year old what is going on with him! He obviously had a reason for crying, but what was it?

Did he just need his Momma?

Because after I picked him up from school, he was his normal happy self! And, he has remained quite happy since that day!

Gavin isn't one to cry. He is a calm, and easy-going boy....until you put something in his mouth or get him wet anyway! Then watch out.....he will let you know he's not happy!

He does cry when he is scared or startled by something, but he is used to school and really likes being there. And, he does cry when something neurologically is going on with him. But, usually we know that something is off, because he has a seizure or he jerks, or he is really out of it....and after this he cries from whatever was going on. Maybe this was the problem, but they didn't see any of this going on. So, Gavin had us guessing, "What's wrong with him?"

When I was driving to school to pick him up, I thought for sure that something was really wrong. I worried the whole way to school. I wondered if he was hurting, or was he getting sick.....I hate not being able to ask him what is wrong! There is a lot of guess work when you have a child like Gavin.....But, thankfully I rarely have to guess what is wrong with him, because he's usually a happy guy!

I wish that Gavin could talk to me, like his big brothers are able to talk to me. But, since he can't, and since he isn't likely to ever talk, I guess we will never know why he had such a bad day at school that day.....and this makes me do a lot of pondering, and it also makes me feel a little bit sad.

Maybe Gavin just wanted to spend some time with his Momma.....?

If that was the case, I was happy to oblige him and I will always be happy to spend the afternoon with him! Besides.....I wasn't really looking forward to doing the laundry and getting groceries anyway! :)

"Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you. Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established." Proverbs 4:25-26


ANewKindOfPerfect said...

I think that handsome boy just wanted some Mama time! ((hugs)) It is really hard. Emily's school has called me with the same thing in the past, and I always rush to go get her. When they can't tell us why they are crying, it's so hard. We check all the normal things, like you did ... and then just hug and snuggle on the couch and hope whatever is bothering her goes away. Like Gavin did, most of the time she is fine as soon as we get home. Maybe they just need more Mama time! :)

Zoey's mom said...

I'm with Sara ... just wanted his momma.

when you said he just sighed,I so related.Zoey does that all the time... I pick her up,she rests her little head on my shoulder and lets out this huge sigh.Like the weight of the world has just been lifted.So nice we can snuggle with them still.

Yes,we would love for them to be able to articulate their needs to us,especially when something medically is going on but the great thing is,we have learned to watch for the subtle cues,the change in usual patterns,to help,hopefully,eliminate,or identify,major goings on.Seems like we are so much more in tune to these things than our other children.

I just love the pictures from the previous post and I LOVE the converse!Those are darling!

So today friend,I say,in between laundry and all that needs to get done,just snuggle and cuddle your sweet little guy.He loves you ... I think that was what he was trying to say..

Lacey said...

Alicia, if we don't get together in Florida, I will be so bummed! Our boys are soul brothers, everything about them is the same. They need to meet! It makes me crazy when Jax cries and I have no idea why! Worse is with the trach, he can't even make noise, so when he cries, I can't even hear it. The other day the kitty was playing with his hair. She wasn't being mean, just playing. But she scratched the hell out of Jax face and head with her claws. I was in the other room for a minute and couldn't hear his cries. I felt so horrible, I just held him and cuddled him forever!!

Jessica mommy to Alex/ RTS said...

Yes, I get this! Down to try taking off his shoes. That usually helps Alex too!!!! I hate that Alex cant tell me how he feels physically or emotionally.
It is just plain unfair.

Cammie Heflin said...

I hear ya sister! I LOVE his smiley pix he is so precious!!

Team Carter Jay said...

Awww, he definitely needed mommy time. What a cutie!

Becky said...

I know that feeling...and it's hard. He's so lucky to have you though because even though he can't tell you, you are in tune with his needs. I wish I could kiss those cute cheeks!

Colleen said...

Such a sweet boy! He probably just wanted some snuggles with his Mom. It's hard when they can't tell you what's wrong. Isaac doesn't cry often and when he's sick he just gets restless and lethargic....then the guessing game begins!

Annette said...

Gavin is blessed to have such sensitive people around him since he isn't able to say what is wrong. I'm impressed by his teacher! And I'm always impressed by his mom ;)!

Debbie said...

that is actually very sweet....and it seems he was trying to say just that..." I WANT MOMMY!"

God bless that little guy...

April said...

Oh , I agree, it's so hard when they can't tell us what's wrong. You are wonderfully in tune with his needs-- he's one lucky (and cute) boy!

Alicia said...

I can't imagine how hard it is for you! Praying things are alright now. Always praying for you all!