Friday, January 25, 2008

How Blessed We Are!

I have been very emotional again this week. Let's face it, I am most weeks, but this week my emotions have been all over the place! I've been thinking about A LOT! I've been thinking about God's grace, family, Gavin, politics, the suffering of this world.....the list goes on! The conclusion that I've come to is that we are VERY blessed! I'm talking about our family and most of you too. I've been thinking of the freedoms our country has and the conveniences we have. It has been so cold outside lately and I think about how most of us are blessed with warm places to live, food to eat, etc. I've also been thinking about others who aren't as blessed. Although, you wouldn't know it by looking at their outlook on the situation. I'm refering to some people I recently read about on another blog site. I have been crying my eyes out this week thinking about all that they are going through, but also crying for the peace that they have been graced with by God. You all know that Gavin was born with Down syndrome, which is a chromosomal abnormality called Trisomy 21. This week I learned about something called Trisomy 18. I had never heard of this. I have found this syndrome to be almost unbearable to think about. I have read about several women pregnant with babies who have or had this. What this means, basically, is that they won't have their babies for long. These women find out that the child that they are carrying may not live until birth or that they WILL die shortly after birth. Can you imagine facing months of this certainty?! You lovingly carry this child, name this child, LOVE this child, all the while knowing that you may not bring this baby home and if you do, it may not be for long! In these mothers' blogs they tell of the journey. I've read of 4 so far. Three babies have died and one is still living at almost 2 months old. The time these babies were alive on earth is between only a moment and 6 hours! I was able to read about these hours and see pictures of these hours that family was able to hold their child, love their child and say goodbye to their child. All I can say is that it's heartbreaking! But, like I said, these families were given such peace during this time and talked about how blessed they were by God for this opportunity of growth in Him and in life in general! Reading all of these stories made me realize even more, just how blessed we are! I know that our life since Gavin has changed radically, but mostly for the good! I know that I've said this many times, but I have learned SO much! I know that these families' lives are changed forever too. I quoted something awhile back that "those like Gavin weren't put on earth to learn, but to teach." I believe that God uses these children of His to do just that! What lessons we learn from them! Sometimes those who never speak are the ones that speak the loudest, through Him that knows all! Some of the most difficult times in a person's life can also be the ones that bring the most clarity. A quote from one of these mothers is this; "Eyes cleansed with tears often see the clearest." Another is this; "Much of what we fill our life with, simply doesn't matter." I agree! I'm thankful for these lessons! Please pray for these families!

Another thing I'm thankful for are grandparents! Our children our blessed with wonderful grandparents! I wonder if they even realize this?! Probably not, but they sure do enjoy having them! Not only grandparents, but great-grandparents! Add in a couple of step-grandparents, whom our children adore, and I'd say they won the jackpot! Our family has been very blessed indeed! We miss and long for those no longer with us, but gained so much from them while they were here! We use the funny words that they used still to this day and see expressions from them even in our children's faces! God is so good! Our boys and we are blessed by having them! So, I want to thank our parents and grandparents for all that they bring to our life!!! I also have added a couple of pictures to share with you. Unfortunately, I have found that we need more pictures with them, since I found that we don't have many, that are digital anyway. So, get ready to smile and say cheese grandmas and grandpas! We love you!

I also want to let you know that Gavin is having another great week! The seizure med increase must be helping because I haven't seen a seizure for the last five days! This is the longest that he has gone without one since the seizures started again! I am over the moon about this!! I am so much more relaxed when I don't have to watch him having them! In fact, despite my emotional week, I can happily say that I've even had a few carefree moments! I have enjoyed my time with Gavin a lot! He's been more 'talkative' again and more alert and active! Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!! Before the med increase he was probably having mini seizures in his brain that we just couldn't see visually, but that were making him unable to do what he's doing this week. Please pray that he continues to progress!

Have a great week! Thanks for your continued prayers for our family and others who are in need of them as well!

Love, Alicia and Family


mommy to 2 bugs said...

I love the quotes you posted from other mom's....especially the one about tear's bringing the most clarity! How true is that!!! Life is hard.....but, heaven is eternal and AWESOME!!!! I sometimes question God, why...but I know God has a reason, we may never know what that reason is, but we must trust in Him!! And though we have family members that will always 'be with us' in spirit, we miss them TERRIBLY...we know that they are in a much better, more peaceful place and I thank our God for that!!! And though our children probably don't realize how blessed they are with memaws and pawpaws (grandparents) they will someday!!! And we can continue to keep their memories alive when our loved ones are gone! It brings tears to my eyes when I see Milo point to pictures of my sis and niece and he says their names!!! Oh my, it brings tears to my eyes just THINKING about it!! That is how we keep their memories alive, the funny stories, silly pictures etc!!
Love you!

Anonymous said...

I was crying when I was done reading your last posting. Oh how we wish we could know God's plan for us. After every failed try at fertility I was mad at god--couldnt figure out why he would let bad people have all the kids they wanted(or didnt want) and let us have none. Now I know--after 7 months of doing foster care I know gods plan for ourlives--take care of those children whose parents dont want to take care of them. Trust me I wonder why at times but I know there is a good reason. The last baby I lost tested positive for Down syndrom--I dont know why god took him or her from us but again I know there was a good reason. Someday we will all know the WHY's. You are an awesome person and a WONDERFUL mother. I hope to have the wisdom and courage and love that you have.

Love ya lots-
April Ruehs
PS--you can see pictues of Karmah on my blog.

Annette Gysen said...

There is much to be thankful for, Alicia, and I'm very thankful for this post.

A niece of mine and her husband went through this syndrome with their third son--he lived about two hours after birth. It has been trying for them to say the least.

We can all learn from each others' trials. Although it may not feel like it, suffering is a gift God gives to His church, too.

Glad Gavin is doing better!