Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

May all of you have a Blessed Thanksgiving! We are thankful for all of you!

"Oh, give thanks to the LORD! Call upon His name; Make known His deeds among the peoples! Sing to Him, sing psalms to Him; Talk of all His wondrous works! Glory in His holy name; Let the hearts of those rejoice who seek the LORD! Seek the LORD and His strength; Seek His face evermore!" Psalm 105:1-4

Monday, November 24, 2008

Doctor Visit

I brought Gavin to the doctor for a well child check-up on Friday. He was not happy about the visit! He cried when we walked in the door. He cried when I took his clothes off to be weighed. He cried when we weighed him. He cried when the doctor checked his ears. He cried when the doctor looked in his mouth. After the doctor left the room he settled down.....but just in time for the nurses to come in to give him his shots! The nurses and I prepared ourselves for his outraged cry. They stuck him with the 2 needles. We waited..........No Cry! I can't figure him out. He cries when he gets a bath.(Most children love baths!) He cries when I put a shirt over his head.(Not a big deal.) Yet he doesn't cry when he's stuck with a needle!?!? Go figure!

Last week I noticed a white growth growing under Gavin's tongue. The doctor looked at it and wants him to be seen by his ear, nose, throat doctor. It will have to be removed and then have a biopsy done on it. I had no idea what it could be, so I googled it. Bad idea! There were so many bad things that it could be, yet so many benign things that it could be. I'm just glad that we only have to wait until December 9 to get in to see this doctor. Please pray that it turns out to be nothing of concern. With Gavin having Down syndrome, there are increased chances of him coming down with so many diseases. Cancer is one of them. It's always at the back of my mind, after reading about so many children with Down syndrome having cancer. So, I'm a little worried. I'm not too worried, but worried. Please pray for my peace of mind until we find out what it could be. Thank you!

Other than that, Gavin checked out well. I'm thankful for this! This week, as we approach Thanksgiving, I am trying to focus on all that I have to be thankful for. I've decided that I have a lot to be thankful for and Gavin definitely tops the list! Here are some pictures of Gavin being thankful:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Gavin laughing as I tickle him!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~Gavin smiling one of his sweet little smiles!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Praise the Lord! Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever." Psalm 106:1

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

All Better!

I'm thankful to say that Gavin is finally all better! This cold was a bad one and hung on for quite some time. Now that he is better, I am ready to confess something. I never even took him in to see the doctor! Probably not a great idea, but I was afraid that if I brought him in, they would have admitted him to the hospital. His doctor doesn't take chances with Gavin, due to Gavin's medical history, and I knew that he'd say that he should be hospitalized. Yes, I'm that fearful of having him in the hospital again! Before you judge me, know that I weighed the consequences, and felt that this decision was best for Gavin. We have just about everything needed to care for Gavin at home. We have oxygen, a monitor, a nebulizer, Gavin has a feeding tube(So we could give him extra fluids),...etc. The last time that he was hospitalized these were all the things that they used, so I felt comfortable staying at home. He does not like being in the hospital and I knew that he would get more rest at home, so this is the decision that I made. Thankfully my decision turned out fine in the end.

This illness was a good reminder for us, of how weak Gavin's immune system is and that even a cold can turn into a respiratory disaster for him. We had gotten a little lax over the summer about how careful we were with him. We brought him out more, let people hold him more and didn't make people wash their hands as much as we usually did. Now we are back in 'flu season' territory and we got the message! We have to make sure that we are more careful! This isn't fun, but obviously necessary! So, just be warned, if you are blessed to find yourself around Gavin...Please remember to wash your hands and stay away if you are sick! Thank You!

I'm struggling with whether or not I should take Gavin to school throughout this season. There are so many germs there! Parents are told to keep their child home if they are sick, but when we go there, someone always seems to be coughing or sneezing. Plus, I don't know how often they clean the equipment that is used. I really want to be able to take him. I'm so hopeful that increased therapy could make a difference for him and being around other parents, who 'get it', is good for me too, but I just don't know if it's worth the risk. Gavin has had a couple of colds since we started in September and I don't know if it has anything to do with going to school or not. I realize that we have 3 boys who carry around tons of germs, but they have been taught 'The Rules' and we keep them far away from Gavin if they are sick. It's sad and Caleb doesn't understand it, but that's just the way it is around here! So, I'm still trying to decide what's best for Gavin in this case. What do you think?

And, so life with Gavin continues.....There is a whole lot more responsibility. There are a whole lot more decisions to make. There are a whole lot more doctors appointments, when I have the guts to take him. :) And, there is a lot of work involved, but there sure is a WHOLE LOT MORE LOVE and THANKFULLNESS to GOD as well! I'm so happy our little man is feeling better! Thanks for your prayers!

"Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!" 2 Corinthians 9:15

Friday, November 14, 2008

Lots to say as a "Soldier of the Cross"

First of all, I'd like to say thank you to all of you who left uplifting messages for me this week! I am so greatful for the friends and family that I have to surround me with love in my darkest hours! God has truly blessed me with all of you! I am feeling much better about things and really just needed to vent.

The day that I last posted I was feeling so down, but that evening I took Jacob to a conference put on by Answers in Genesis. I've talked about this organization before. We visited a museum in Kentucky, near Ohio, that they created. The museum is all about the awesome world that God created. Visit their website at Anyway, attending the conference that evening really lifted my spirits and gave me a lot of 'food for thought.' It also got me fired up to stand up for the Lord! I'm going to share with you some of what we learned. We learned that the world that we live in is changing fast and more than ever christians need to share the word of God! This means that we need to study the Bible and know it, so that we can share it. They talked about how just in the last 50 years, our world is so different than it used to be. As christians, we need to keep our radar on and realize just how corrupt our world has become. Everywhere you look there are offensive things around; on television, in books, in the newspaper, at the mall...! We have become tolerant of it all, because it's everywhere! Half the time we probably don't even blink an eye about it, because it's just normal for us to see it. If you were to go back 50 years ago, things would be so different than they are today. Fifty years ago if you had told people that the word God or prayer would not be allowed in schools, they wouldn't have believed you. Today it's not allowed in public schools. Fifty years ago, if you had told someone that abortion would become legalized and that it would be government funded, they wouldn't have believed it! Just imagine the changes that will occur in the next fifty years!

I don't even want to imagine the changes that will occur, but we can't just stand by and let them happen! The morals and values of people aren't what they used to be! This week I read a comment posted on a sweet friend's blog. Tamara has a precious little girl named Abby and she blogs about her life as a mother of a special needs child. Her blog is such an inspiration and is full of life! She and her daughter are the sweetest people one could ever meet, yet, an anonymous person felt that they had the right to leave the following comment on her site

Anonymous said... November 08, 2008

It is so cruel to put a child through so much. People who do this are selfish. They do this for themselves. You could have aborted the poor little soul would have gone on to something better. How sick it is to do this in the name of religion. How ignorant. God does not approve.

This comment got quite a few fellow bloggers stirred up, as you can imagine! The thing that really got me was the fact that anonymous said that "people who do this are selfish." WHAT?! How could this be selfish, knowing that they are doing what is asked of them, and knowing full well that their life would no longer be about them at all! Caring for a child with special needs is the farthest thing from selfish! It's a life filled with enormous responsibility and dedication, not selfishness! This comment saddened me so much, but just proves how corrupt our world has become! As a mother to a VERY special child, I know how hard this road can be! I also know what a blessing this calling is! We have been called to care for someone so weak, that they are unable to care for themselves in the least. We do this job, not out of selfishness, but out of love, always trusting in God's promise to never give us more than we can handle. We know that God is faithful and that we have been given a gift! Although our children are weak, their presence in our life, has helped to make us strong! We become fierce advocates for our children and you better not offend us our our child! We are forced to become people that we may not have been before, but we are happy with the changes that we see in ourselves! We learn so much from our children and wouldn't change having them in our life for anything! I love this quote about those with special needs; "They have an important purpose here on earth, not to learn, but to teach." If only the world could see this truth!

With all of this, I have become fired up this week! I am tired of worrying about offending the world with my beliefs! The world could care less about offending me! I'm tired of not bringing up certain subjects, with certain people, knowing that they would just get angry by them! I'm tired of not being able to be myself in this ever changing world! I've decided to not care anymore! This is me and these are my beliefs! If you don't like it, who cares?! I'm always kind to those, whose beliefs I don't share. The same respect should be shown to me! As true christians, more than ever, we need to stand up and fight for the one and only true God! God wants us to! This blog is titled, "Gavin's Voice" and I named it that because that's what I'm trying to do here. I'm trying to be a voice for Gavin and those who may never have a voice in this world! Having Gavin in my life has given me the courage to use my voice, and each and every day my voice is getting stronger with Gavin's help and the help of my AWESOME God! I don't know about you, but I'm prepared to to stand up and fight for my child, fight for my world and especially to stand up and fight for my Lord! After all, He DIED for me!

I woke up this morning singing the following song:

1. Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
ye soldiers of the cross;
lift high his royal banner,
it must not suffer loss.
From victory unto victory
his army shall he lead,
till every foe is vanquished,
and Christ is Lord indeed.

2. Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
the trumpet call obey;
forth to the mighty conflict,
in this his glorious day.
Ye that are brave now serve him
against unnumbered foes;
let courage rise with danger,
and strength to strength oppose.

3. Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
stand in his strength alone;
the arm of flesh will fail you,
ye dare not trust your own.
Put on the gospel armor,
each piece put on with prayer;
where duty calls or danger,
be never wanting there.

4. Stand up, stand up for Jesus,
the strife will not be long;
this day the noise of battle,
the next the victor's song.
To those who vanquish evil
a crown of life shall be;
they with the King of Glory
shall reign eternally.

I am a "soldier of the cross" and I'm going to fight for it as hard as I can! I want my children to continue to have the freedoms that our country has been blessed with! I know that even though we may be losing many battles, WE WILL WIN THE WAR! How do I know this? Because "I've read the back of the Book" and it says so! Thank You Lord for this wonderful book, The Bible, and Thank You for choosing little ole me!

"You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." 2 Timothy 2:3

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

A Love/Hate Relationship

This week I'm struggling with the feelings that I have regarding my life. I LOVE my role as a mother! In fact, if not for having my hands full already with all of Gavin's needs, I would definitley want to try for more children. I love caring for my children. I love learning from them. I love looking at them. I love being their mom! But...(there always seems to be a but!), I feel so overwhelmed at times with all the responsibility that I have trying to raise "them up in the way they should go." Some days I just want to get away from it all, and with Gavin, that's just not possible for more than a few hours at a time. Some days I just feel like screaming and running away to be by myself! Today is one of those days! So, I came here to vent.

I feel like I'm on the verge of losing it! I told my boys this morning that they better shape up because I have zero patience today and that things need to start going smoother around here! We are having some work done on our house right now, Joel is leaving for 5 days to go hunting, the boys have been way too goofy and not listening well.......and I'm at my wits end! I need a vacation!

Like I said, I love my role as a mom and wouldn't change it for any other role, but moms need a break too! The thing is, with Gavin, I really don't have the option of getting away from it all. When I do get away to get groceries or to walk around the mall, I feel guilty. I also worry because I'm the ONLY one who knows what to do for Gavin! Joel says he's not really interested in learning everything and he's gone so much anyway, that it's not usually necessary. But, what if something were to happen to me?! I know that I've voiced my concerns about this before, but I still worry about this because nothing has been solved regarding this issue. I just feel like I have so much responsibility on my shoulders! Most days I am fine with it, but then there are days like today.

Almost every decision that I make is made with Gavin in mind. Some of the work that we are having done on our house is for him. We had to tear out a wall to make a doorway opening bigger so that a wheelchair could fit through it. My future seems to have been decided by him. I had planned on going back to work after our children were older, but now I'll probably be caring for him instead. (If we are blessed to have him still alive at that point.) I've always told Joel that I planned on having our parents live with us when they got older because I just couldn't imagine sending them to a nursing home, but now I have Gavin to care for down the road. The time that I schedule doctors appointments for him revolves around breathing treatments 3 times a day or when he is connected to his feeding pump. Where we go and who we have over to our house, due to his need to be away from germs, especially this time of year, is decided with Gavin in mind.....and the list goes on! It might sound like I'm not happy to have the responsibility of Gavin, but that is farthest from the truth! I would count him as one of the greatest blessings that I have been given! But, I'm human and can only cope with so much before I need a break or someone to vent to. So, this is what I'm doing now. Thanks for 'listening' and allowing me to air my frustrations! Thanks for the prayers as well! I know that this too shall pass, but today I'm losing it! Until then I'll try to remember this...

"I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth - Praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord. But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinks upon me. You are my help and deliverer; Do not delay, O my God." Psalm 40:1-3 & 17

Saturday, November 8, 2008

I received an award!

I was given a blogger award by a fellow blogger. Her site is I love her site and feel honored that she feels the same about mine! Thank you Shan! I give it right back to ya! I'm so inspired by you and Marie and look forward to checking in on you guys daily!

These are the rules that I am to follow:

1) Pass this award on to other bloggers whose blogs I enjoy reading.

2) List six things about me.

I'm passing this award on to the following blogs:

1) TCM

2) New Kind Of Normal

3) By God's Grace

4) Head and Heart

5) Hennhouse

6) Waiting for Happy

I love visiting these sites and always come away from them with my heart more full! I have also learned a lot by reading their sites. Check them out!

Here are six things that you may not know about me:

1) As a child I was very afraid of sharks. I would even get frightened while swimming in our pool at night, thinking that a shark was about to get me! I'm no longer afraid of sharks. This fear has been replaced by the fear of losing a loved one, especially one of my children.

2) I love the color green! The way our house is decorated will show evidence of this!

3) I also love leaves and trees! Again, our home will show evidence of this.

4) I have a habit of counting things. I count stairs, cars that go by, colors on an object.....etc. I even add up the numbers on a digital clock! I guess I have a thing for numbers, which is surprising since I wasn't that great at math past the eighth grade! Some people think I'm crazy when I tell them this. They may be right, but I just tell them that I'm obviously pretty good at multi-tasking since I can do it and still get a lot done and no one even knows that I'm doing it! My favorite numbers are 5, 3 and 7(in that order).

5) My favorite person in the Bible would probably be Moses. He was such a humble man who did not feel worthy of all God had called him to do. But, he trusted God and did what he was told inspite of not having the confidence to do them. I pray that if asked to have such faith, I would be able to do these things and put all my trust in the Lord!

6) I am not a picky eater, but I am a picky drinker. I hate coffee and tea! And, I only drink milk occasionally because it's good for me. My choice of beverage is almost always water.

So, there you have it! Now you know a little bit more about me. I'm weirder than you thought I was, right?! Oh well. :) For those of you who received this award from me, Thanks for sharing your heart with the world through your blog! And, I'll be looking forward to learning a little bit more about you too!

Also, please continue to pray for Gavin. He's still sick, although getting better VERY SLOWLY. I hate to see him feeling miserable! He's been through so much already in his short life and it breaks my heart to see him suffer anymore! Thank you for your prayers! Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Be still and know that I am God!

I don't know about all of you, but I am so relieved that this election is over! And, no matter who you voted for or what you voted on, I believe there is reason to smile today. Obviously, if your guy won, you're happy. But, even if your guy did not win, there are plenty of reasons to rejoice!

This morning we woke up and told our boys who had won. They had some profound words (and actions) to share with us, about what they thought about the results. Jacob said, "Well, Our nation has made history in electing a black president." It's kind of cool to know that we were around to see that history being made, don't you think?! Nolan just shrugged his shoulders and smiled, which is his way of letting us know that he knows that this is not the most important thing in the world. Caleb said, "Well, The King of Kings is really our president anyway!" Yep! I was reminded of the importance of putting things into perspective (Again!) by my 5 year old! As for Gavin, he woke up fussy and spitting up a lot to show us what he thought about it all!

Anyway, I am feeling lighter today since it's all over and also because I know that God has a plan for our country and that He is the one sitting on the throne! So, however it turned out for you, rest in this very important fact!

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge." Psalm 46:10-11

Also, a quick note to let you know that Gavin is doing much better! He is still coughing and breathing a little faster than his norm, but his oxygen sats are much better and I think he's well on his way to recovery! This may be a another big reason why I am feeling lighter today! It's crazy how consumed and anxious I get when Gavin gets this sick! Thanks for your prayers! We feel so blessed knowing that many are praying for our little man! Check out our new photoshow at the top of the blog and see some cute pictures of the little man and his brothers taken this Fall!

"Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God." Romans 13:1

"This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

We Voted!

Well.....our parents did anyway! Don't forget to vote! And, God Bless America!

"But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God." John 3:21

Monday, November 3, 2008

Trying to stay wrapped up in His peace!

Lastnight wasn't such a great night for Gavin and I. He has had a cold and I thought he was getting better, but during the night he was quite fussy and having a difficult time. He was coughing a lot, had labored breathing and his oxygen saturation wasn't as high as it normally is. I was quite concerned! One of my biggest fears is the need for him to go back in the hospital and lastnight it was looking like he might be headed there soon. I was already feeling quite anxious because I was trying to do too much the last week and I was focusing too much on wordly things. So, needless to say, I was not in great shape mentally to deal with this too. I hate that I fear so much when it concerns Gavin! I hate that I let it overcome me sometimes! This is what was happening to me lastnight.

As I was sitting up with him during the night, Caleb woke up, as well, to tell me that he had had a nightmare. I told him to join the crowd and snuggle with Gavin and I on the couch. So, here we were, sitting there with me anxious, Caleb scared from his dream and Gavin not feeling very well. The next thing I know, the furnace kicked on and I got this overwhelming feeling of peace. I was in a warm home, I had two of my boys to snuggle with and all was great with the world! Perspective is so wonderful! It amazed me how peaceful I felt after feeling so anxious just minutes before! It made me start thinking about how caught up I can get in wordly things! I realized that besides being worried about Gavin's health, there really wasn't any reason for me to be feeling so anxious! The other things just don't matter! I had to go through a difficult night to figure this out, but that's how us humans are sometimes! What really matters? God's word and plan for our lives really matter! That we try to glorify Him and trust in Him really matters! The rest is just small stuff really!

Today I feel a lot more at peace. I'm trying to focus on Him and not the things of this world. Gavin is still coughing and his oxygen sats aren't what they should be, but he's doing better and I know that God has everything figured out for me already, so what's the use in worrying?! I would appreciate it if you would pray for Gavin. Pray that he gets better soon and that we won't have to put him on oxygen(he hates this!) and that he can stay out of the hospital. While you're at it, pray for our country as it makes some very big decisions tomorrow! And, remember to rest in the peace that God is already there and has a plan for our country and all of us!

By the way, here are some pictures of the sick little guy today. He doesn't look too sick does he?! He is, but it's good to see him happy inspite of it! Oh how I love him!

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28