Thursday, August 28, 2008

I'm going to miss these boys!

I can't believe that summer is almost over! It went by way too fast! I am dreading the day that the boys go back to school! Yes, you heard me right! I am not looking forward to them going to school! Most moms that I talk to can't wait. They are looking forward to consistency, peace, structure. Not me! I must be abnormal or something, but I love all the craziness with having them around! Well, most days anyway. In fact, I'd probably homeschool them if I thought that I'd do a good job of it! But, I know that I'd be way too laid back about it and probably take lots of days off for fun. Anyway, I'm not looking forward to all that comes with this time of year at all! So, I've been a little down in the dumps and wishing for some more time.

I can't believe that I actually have a child that is entering the 7th grade! When did this happen? I'm not that old am I?! Jacob is looking forward to seeing all his friends again and doing the "fun" parts of school, otherwise he's just as sad as I am about it. He hates homework and thinks that all things in life should be fun! I'm sure he'll be fine, but he isn't so sure about this!

Nolan will be starting 3rd grade and can't wait! He absolutely LOVES school, learning and even homework! He misses his friends and I think he actually does better having more structure in his life. So, he's been counting the days down since summer vacation started!

Again, where does the time go?! Caleb will be starting kindergarten! He is very excited about this! I can't believe that he's old enough! I know that he will love it, but I'm going to miss having him around!

Gavin is even starting 'school' in a couple of weeks! He will continue to have physical therapy once a week at home, but will also go to a class once a week. The school said he was old enough to go to school everyday, but I told them that they were crazy! He's not even 2 years old yet! So, that will begin next year. I hope that he stays healthy enough to benefit from this class and make some strides physically and developmentally! He was recently classified as being at a birth-3 month level. Although I knew this, it was still hard to hear! I really pray that he can at least develop enough to sit up on his own in the next year! I may be hoping for too much, but this is my goal for him in the near future. I would appreciate your prayers for this and that he can remain healthy, out of the hospital and without seizures. Thank you!

I hope that all of you can enjoy the rest of your summer! The days are flying by!

"The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen." Philippians 4:23

Friday, August 22, 2008

Our 5 Senses at Work on Vacation

We are home from vacation. We enjoyed our time, although we suffered from sensory overload! We saw so much of God's most wonderful and beautiful creations! We heard the the clippety-clop of horses on Mackinac Island, the waves crashing into the sand, the loud blast of cannons and unfortunately, LOTS of whining from the children! We tasted the best white fish around, not to mention too much ice cream and fudge! We felt the sand on our toes and were able to get wet in 3 of the Great lakes (Lake Michigan, Lake Huron and Lake Superior)! And, finally, we smelled the delicious aroma of fudge and lots of refreshing fresh air!

Some of our adventures included: A trip to Mackinac Island on a ferry boat, visiting 2 forts, a logging mill and lighthouse tour, an Indian museum, crossing the Mackinac bridge, a zip line and rock climbing wall adventure, and a stop at a virgin forrest that was so peaceful and beautiful! Well, as peaceful as it can be with the VW boys running through it! Whew! I need a vacation! :)

Here are some pictures of our trip:

---------------------Our carriage ride tour leaders------------

--------------------Mackinac Bridge--------------------

-----------------Gavin's toes in the sand!--------------------

-------------------Yummy! Fudge!----------------

-----------------Lake Michigan----------------

------------------Caleb met a friend!----------------

----------------------Arch Rock------------------------

----------------Cannon Fire at Fort Michilimackinac---------

-------------------The view from our hotel room----------------

---Oh, and did I mention that we brought home a little indian boy?!---

Gavin ended up getting sick on our trip. He got what Caleb and I had the week before our trip. The poor little guy! He was spitting up more than usual and had LOTS of diarrhea. I felt so bad for him! He's still has it, but is getting better. Even while sick, he remained his content little self and was a trooper even though he prefers to be at home. When we walked in the door at home, he got really happy and was talking up a storm! I think he was glad to be home! He even let me wash his face without complaining, so he must have been happy! At least one of us was glad to get home!

"And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth." Joel 2:30

Summer Vacation 2008

Friday, August 15, 2008

Me and my big brother Jake

-----------------Jake and I having one of our many heart to heart conversations-----

------------------Jake and I comparing our tans (I think he's got me beat!)---------

I think that I may have one of the best big brothers around! Don't get me wrong, I like all my brothers, but Jacob sure does treat me great! First thing in the morning when he wakes up he asks, "Is Gavin awake?" If I'm still in my bed he asks, "Can I go see him?" If I'm already up he usually asks, "Can I hold him?" He sure does love me! He calls me lots of silly names, the newest being, "Mr. Johnson." We don't know why, but that's what he calls me! He tells me that I'm cute all day long and he says that our family is so blessed to have me! See!...I told you he was a great brother! I'm really gonna miss him when he goes back to school! :(

Our family is headed out for a few days on a mini vacation! I'm not so sure about this. I prefer to be at home! But, everyone else is excited about it! So, maybe it will be fun after all! Anyway, Have a great weekend! My mom will share pictures when we get back! :)

"Let brotherly love continue. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels." Hebrews 13:1-2

Saturday, August 9, 2008


Lastnight I had a most wonderful dream and wanted to share it and write it down so that I wouldn't forget it. During the dream one of the ladies that I have so fortunately got to know through blogging called and said that she wanted to come for a visit. After she arrived, one by one, more wonderful people that I've gotten to know through their blogs started to arrive. It was crazy, wonderful and exciting! During all the excitement I looked over at Gavin and saw that he was sitting up on his own! Next thing I knew he was crawling around, climbing up stairs and eating grapes! (I don't know why grapes, but that's what he was eating!) I was SO excited!!! I couldn't believe my eyes! The dream continued on and left me feeling really great! I woke up with such a renewed and happy feeling! Oh, to live in dreamland.........! The awesome thing is that I know that this could happen one day if it's part of God's plan! Hope in the Lord, what a wonderful thing!

Another awesome thing struck our family lastnight! We were watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics and we were discussing the fact that the date was 8-8-08. Then I said to Nolan, "And, you are 8 years old!" Nolan thought about it awhile and said, "Wouldn't it be cool if I was 8 years, 8 months and 8 days old on 8-8-08?!" I thought about it and realized that he was indeed just that! Pretty cool huh?!

Have a great weekend! May you have sweet dreams! :)

"You shall not be terrified of them; for the Lord your God, the great awesome God, is among you." Deuteronomy 7:21

Friday, August 8, 2008

We are never alone!

...........Enough said!..........
Well, except that I'm feeling very bad because I pulled Gavin's G-tube button out this morning by accident! I was changing his diaper on the floor and afterwards went to pick him up and the tubing got caught under my knee. When I picked him up....Pop! went the button. I had pulled it right out of his stomach! This is the first time that this has happened and I feel so bad about it! He cried a little. They say the hole is kind of like an earring hole after awhile, so it normally doesn't hurt, but imagine if someone yanked your earring out! The button is held in place by a bubble inside the stomach that is filled with water, so it doesn't come out too easily. But, obviously it does if you pick your child up and have the tubing under your knee!! Anyway, he's fine and I'm fine, but I still feel bad.
The boys all got a lesson on how to put a new G-tube button in though! They were all very interested, especially Nolan! I'll be surprised if at least one of our boys don't choose a career in the health field after all that they have seen since Gavin was born!
Hope everyone enjoys their weekend! The boys are SO excited about the Olympics starting! I can barely contain them! Go team U.S.A.!!!
"And He said, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." " Exodus 33:14

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

I'm not the same person that I used to be

I know that we all grow and change throughout our lives, but ever since having Gavin in my life I've changed a lot. I'm definately not the same person that I used to be. In many ways, I'm glad for the changes. But, there are some things that make me long for my old life.

Gavin's birth, life and struggles have brought me a lot of clarity. My relationship with the Lord is very different than it used to be. I used to think I had a fairly close relationship with God, but now that I'm on the other side, I realize that I had a long way to go yet. I still have a long way to go, but I'm getting a little closer to understanding His love, grace and sacrifice for me. Gavin's life has shown me how profound God's gift to us really is! I've learned that suffering is actually a gift from the Lord above! If not been given the gift of Gavin, I would probably not be looking to God for His strength so often. I would be not be trusting in Him with so much of my life and I would not be looking so forward to life eternal with Him! It's quite awesome how much perspective suffering and uncertainty can really bring to a person.

With Gavin in my life I am more patient, yet less patient. I've been given the peace of knowing that things don't always happen when they are 'supposed' to happen. But, if you wait a little longer, when they do happen they mean SO much more! I'm less patient, in that, I don't have the patience for ignorance any longer. It's so hard for me to hear people complaining so often and it's VERY hard for me to hear the way some people talk about others or joke about their differences!

Since having Gavin I don't really feel like I fit into my old life. I have a difficult time relating to some people that I used to be close to, yet find myself forming close relationships with people that I had no relationship with at all or who can relate to me through their hardships. I've always been shy and reserved and hated to 'rock the boat', but I've had to open up more to make sure that Gavin's needs and sometimes my own, are being met. This gives me a sense of empowerment in some ways, but makes me feel mean and controlling in other ways. But, I've found out that sometimes it's the 'squeaky wheel that gets the grease' and that Gavin needs someone to be a good advocate for him. Some days I can't even picture myself living this life and the life that the future, with Gavin, will bring. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around wheeling Gavin around in a wheelchair and caring for him the rest of his or my life. Yet, I don't want to ever imagine NOT having him in my life! He is doing well now, but his heart is still very imperfect and only God knows what the future holds for Gavin and our family.

I've learned that the little things are just that.....little things! Yet, sometimes it's the little things that matter the most! I've become a better mother and friend, yet a less better mother and friend! This is a hard one to deal with. I have to make more time for Gavin and my other children, which leaves less time for others. I have to give so much to Gavin, which leaves less time for our other boys. But, in some ways having him makes me a better mom during the time I can spend with them.

Would I have chosen this life? No! Would I change my life? No! I am a work in progress and having Gavin has helped to form me into what God wants and needs for me to be. In church on Sunday we were told an analogy. The analogy was that delicious cookies are made from many ingredients. Each ingredient alone does not taste very good, but when stirred together and baked they become something wonderful! That is what we are like. Alone, we don't amount to much. Every part of our lives has meaning and purpose. And when I look back on my life, I can now see that each ingredient was necessary to make me what I am and what I am to become. I have faltered and wished that I could remove some of the ingredients, but once the ingredient is added, like we learned on Sunday, we can't remove it. We are to just keep stirring the mixture and let our batter be stirred by God. With the continuous stirring of God in our lives, we may some day become something as sweet as a cookie. I just pray that I may always try to glorify God in all that I do, knowing what He has done for me!

"Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall be changed - in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed.........Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not vain in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 15:51-52 and 58.