Monday, July 28, 2008

Nolan's Journal

So often I find myself worried about how Jacob, Nolan and Caleb may be affected by having Gavin as a brother. They all seem to go with the flow and are such great big brothers to him, but I wonder sometimes how they are feeling and handling it all deep down. Jacob talks about his feelings about Gavin quite often and Caleb was fairly young when Gavin was born, so he may just think that this is just a way of life. But Nolan is a thinker and keeps a lot of his feelings to himself. I was able to gain some insight on what goes on in his inquisitive little mind recently. This year Nolan's class worked on journals. The following is one of the entries he wrote. It is about one of Gavin's many trips to the hospital. (Note: I've corrected the spelling, although it is more cute to read it his way!)

Gavin Gets Dehydrated (originally spelled dihistrated :) )

Chapter 1:

Have you ever had a baby that had Down syndrome? Our baby, Gavin, has Down syndrome. When a baby has Down syndrome, it is hard for them to learn things. It is bad when a Down syndrome baby gets dehydrated. Gavin got dehydrated. He had to to go to the emergency room.

Chapter 2:

At first mom was with Gavin in the hospital. But Gavin wasn't doing so good. So they had to bring him to the emergency room. Mom came home and told us that Gavin was in the emergency room. I was scared, nervous and worried. A day after that we went to the hospital. We went in an elevator to floor 2. We went in the parking lot. There was a door to the emergency room. It was so scary that my teeth were chattering. When we went in the emergency room there was a place where you would tell a nurse where you were going. Then we would go and wait for a nurse to bring you to where you wanted to go. There was a big white hallway with pictures on the white walls. We found the room next to the place. I saw the computer that had the heart rate on it. It had squiggles to tell how his heart was doing. Then we had to move and we went further down the hall that went left. The floor was slanted down. Then it turned right to opened doors and then turned sharply into the room. The pediasure that he eats was going through a tube into his mouth, but then they put it through his belly. God helped Gavin to get out of the hospital. Because the next day he was back at our house.

While the events he described are accurate, the timing of when and how they occured were a little different, but obviously he was paying attention to a lot and was concerned about what was happening. It makes me sad to know that he was scared during this time and that he has had to go through many days of visiting his brother in the hospital. It also makes me happy because he obviously knows that God is caring for Gavin and us through all of this!

I know all of this has been hard for my mature mind to grasp, so it must be tremendously hard for a child to understand! But, I know that I have learned A LOT and grown a lot in my faith and even as a person, and I pray that the same holds true for our children. I'm quite sure that having an outlet like writing helped Nolan, so I am thankful that they had this opportunity this year. I'm also quite sure that the knowledge of God's love and purpose for us all has helped our boys deal with this and that He will sufficiently supply all that we will ever stand in need of! And, for this I am especially thankful!

"Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God." 2 Corinthians 3:5


HennHouse said...

That is so precious! And I love that verse...

Annette Gysen said...

I don't know why some children have to learn these hard lessons so early in life, but just as God helps us, He helps them too. Jacob, Nolan, and Caleb are having to learn some tough lessons early, but thankfully they have Joel and you, church, and good teachers to help them. How good to see our children learning an early dependence on God--always a helpful thing to learn!


Inspired said...

Tears streaming down my face....Nolan is much like Rena in the way he worries and holds things inside, not to mention that attention to detail. Your boys are beyond fine and will be better people because of the gift of love Gavin has brought to your home. Scary at times, but knowing God's love and the love you and Joel show them will keep them safe. Your boys have a capacity to love and underdstand well beyond most adults. Natural to worry, but I gotta tell ya, there is no need.

What precious gifts you have in each your boys!!

Hope to see you soon!

Anxious AF said...

I often worry about my older boys too, but as far as I can tell their little brother is only making them better. It looks the same for your family too! What blessings they truly are!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you found that journal entry. When I read it in the classroom I was so excited that Nolan choose that topic, I remind the students to write about things they truly care about and Nolan really took that to heart. You have some very special and insightful boys!
Lisa Russcher

The VW's said...


Thanks for visiting! And, yes, that's a great verse!



I know that the lessons that they are learning early in life are important lessons and that God has a purpose in all of this. And, it is never too early to learn to be dependent on God!



I see a lot of similarities in Nolan and Rena as well. They had lots of fun on Saturday! We have to get them together more often! Hope you are feeling better!



I agree, our boys will only benefit from this experience in the end! It's just hard to see them not be able to just be children sometimes. In some ways they are having to grow up a little bit faster. But, I know in my heart that they will gain a ton more from having Gavin and Alex as their brothers.



I love that you had them write journals, so thank you for that! Nolan will miss not having you as his teacher this year. Thanks for your dedication as his teacher for the last two years! He learned so much from you! Hope you are having a great summer!