Check out my new toy!

I finally took down the tree because I couldn't stand it any longer, but I did buy Gavin these rope lights to make up for it! He loves looking at them! I hung them on his toy bar. When I plug them in he gets wide eyed and just stares at them, then he gets quite excited about it!

His physical therapist thought that it was a great idea. Today she was really impressed by Gavin! He has been much more active and vocal lately and she got to see this today. She kept smiling and even stayed longer than normal, because he was doing so well. Usually he tires out half way through the session. She kept saying that she thought that he was trying to do certain things, but I didn't see what she saw. She said that babies first explore toys with their mouths. Gavin has been doing this for awhile. Next babies start to explore by shaking or banging a toy. She has said before that she saw Gavin do this, but I thought that she was just giving him the benefit of the doubt. Today she said that he was doing this again. I am still not so sure of this, but maybe she knows what to look for and I don't? Between things she said about Gavin's recent developments and what a friend at church said to me Sunday, I'm beginning to analyze how I view Gavin's future development.

Our friend at church came up to me Sunday and said that she was thinking about how "Isn't it wonderful that doctors aren't in control of Gavin's life and it's God Who is?!" This is SO true! Thanks for this reminder friend! :) There have been several occasions that doctors have written Gavin right off, yet he is still here with us and is making small strides! There were a couple of times that doctors came to us to say that they didn't think Gavin would pull through enough to even live another day...or ever get off the ventilator...or ever get out of the hospital...or ever develop any further.......yet he did ALL of these things! His neurologist said that it's very unlikely that Gavin's brain will ever recover from the stroke he had, yet Gavin IS doing more than he used to do! Thankfully God is the One in control!

I have had a difficult time looking down the road and seeing progress in the future with Gavin. I don't know if this is due to all of the poor prognoses we have been given or if it's because I don't want to get my hopes up and have them shot down if he doesn't develop any further. It could also be due to the fact that I am with Gavin every day and the steps forward are very few and far between. In any case, I need to remember that Gavin HAS made improvements! He IS alive and with us! And, that God IS in control and all powerful and has a plan for Gavin and all of us! Looking back on the last 2+ years, and seeing all that we have gotten through, I should never put limits on our Awesome God, no matter what doctors tell us and what we happen to see! God is in control and only He knows the future! I am going to try to just sit back and enjoy the triumphs Gavin has made and eagerly await what God has in store for all of us, knowing that He alone is in control and will get us through each chapter!

I've added a couple of new families to my blog list, on the side bar. Both have children born with Down syndrome and have been through a lot of the same trials that Gavin has. I have been blessed by reading their blogs and although I am sad that there are others having to go through similiar trials, it is a comfort to 'know' them! Check out these precious children (Jaxson and Zoey) and please add them to your prayer list!


"O God, You are more awesome than Your holy places. The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Blessed be God!" Psalm 68:35

"Do Not Worry"

This week, while comforting a miserable Gavin and while feeling quite anxious and miserable myself, I looked out our front window and saw this:



Then later in the day I looked out our back window and saw this:





These marvelous sights made me think of the following scripture:

[22] Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. [23] "Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. [24] "Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more valuable are you than birds? [25] "And Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" [26] "If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious about the rest? [27] "Consider the lilies, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. [28] "If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith? [29] "And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. [30] "For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. [31] "But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you." Luke 12:22-31

I absolutely love the fact, that God made sure to put all that we need to know in the Bible! It's ALL there! Every God given word has a purpose for us! I was feeling so sad and anxious and God sent His wonderful creation of birds to remind me of His promise to us! There are so many times that I find myself sinking and the next thing I know, God's word is there to get me floating once again! If God makes sure that the birds are clothed and fed, surely He will make sure I am cared for as well!

Thank You Lord for supplying all that I need and for creating a source, the Bible, in which I can always turn to for the only answers that I need! Please help me to remember to always turn to this source and forgive me when I try to figure it out all on my own! Help me to have patience and to always trust in you! Amen.

"Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears." -- Barbara Johnson

"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." James 2-5

Birthday Blues.....

Thirty-seven years ago today, I was born. And, today I'm having the birthday blues. It has nothing to do with my age. Seriously! In fact, a couple of weeks ago I was trying to remember how old I was. (Early memory loss?) Anyway, I could not remember how old I was. I thought that I was 37 and about to turn 38, but when I asked my boys, they told me I was only 36 at the time. So, turning 37 isn't a big deal since I thought I was that old already! Although, if you ask Caleb how old I am, he will tell you "Firty-seven," so it sounds like he's saying 47! Knowing that people might think that he's saying 47, I told him to say that his mom and dad are 3...7..., instead of saying 37 together, that way we don't age too quickly in everyone's eyes...I may still feel young, but I certainly don't want people thinking I'm 10 years older than I am! Anyway, my feeling down has nothing to do with my age. I think that I may be going through a mid-life crisis or something. I need change, fun and excitement! Any suggestions for someone like me???

Another thing that I'm feeling down about is life in general. Not necessarily my own life, but the trials I hear about and see going on in everyone's life. I think continuously and because I am always thinking I let myself get sad wishing that I could change so many circumstances for so many people. Life can be so difficult and sad! Sure, I wish that certain aspects of my life could be different, but for the most part I really am at peace with my life, but ONLY through the grace of God! There is no way that I could get through my days without peace from Him and the knowledge that He has it all under control! I do let my mind wander and start thinking about our future with Gavin. I start letting myself think about the wheelchair ramp we will surely need to build, and the heart surgeries that he will surely need to have, and the fact that someday I won't be able to just carry Gavin around and change his diaper and clothes so easily.....but then I stop myself before I get too anxious and not want to even get out of bed in the morning!

I guess the point that I'm trying to make is.....hmmm? I guess, that life can be hard for all of us and I let myself get burdened by all of the pain and suffering that I see. We all have struggles and it's just not fun! It also saddens me to know that there is so much suffering in people's lives and many don't even know God and the grace that only He can supply! If I didn't have this knowledge in my life, there is NO WAY that I could keep going somedays! So, what can I do about this? This used to be something that I would have struggled with even more than I am now, when I used to be a control freak. I've always known that God was the pilot and I was the co-pilot, but in the past I would think that I could take the wheel for awhile and see how good I could fly the plane! Since Gavin came along, I've had no choice but to sit back and relax (as well as I can) and let God navigate through this uncertain world for me. This is why I am mostly at peace, but it's also why I get down, because I know so many who don't have this comfort and knowledge!

So, today I am thanking God for my 37 years of life and all that He has blessed me with, but I'm also spending a lot of time feeling sad. Sad, for those who are suffering and especially sad for those who don't know the ONE and ONLY TRUE Savior! Between this and not sleeping well the last two nights (Gavin has been sick, feverish and miserable!), I'm slightly a mess! But, I'm praying! That is all that I can do.


"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Gavin's favorite toys

Besides the Christmas tree, Gavin has a couple of other favorite toys. The funny thing is, his 2 most prefered toys, aren't even toys at all! Take a look!





Gavin loves playing with his tubing from his feeding tube! He is great at finding it, especially when we are trying to change his diaper! Since Gavin is hooked up to his feeding pump a lot of the day, we just keep the connecting tube hooked up to his G-tube button, even when he's not "eating." We tuck the end into the velcro tape on his diaper and he knows it's there! As soon as he hears that velcro sound of the diaper being opened, his little hand is right there to grab it! And let me tell you, it takes a lot of skill to keep him from pulling it hard and right out of his button while trying to clean a messy diaper! It's like he has octopus arms!

Another favorite toy is something that his physical therapist brought over one day. Here are some pictures of him playing with it.







Doesn't he look like he loves it?! It's actually a piece of fabric that she bought at a craft store. It is silver and black and feels kind of soft and silky. I think that he likes the way that it feels, plus since it's silver, it may be easier for him to see? Gavin has a bar that we hang his toys on, that we put in front of him while he sits in his chair. He always goes for this fabric first!

I think it's so funny that these are his favorite things to play with! I suppose this is true with most kids. You buy them tons of toys and they want to play with the box or something! I guess this makes Gavin quite normal?! Although, we all know that Gavin is far from normal! I may be biased, but I believe that he is WAY better than normal!


"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I was going to take down the tree today.....

.....but Gavin keeps proving to me how much he loves it! Wherever he is placed in this room, somehow he almost always makes his way over to the tree! Since it seems to be such a motivator for getting him to move, I'm having a hard time wanting to take it down for the year. So, if you happen to come over to visit us in the future, and the tree is still up, this is why! :)


"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scournful; But his his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth it's fruit in it's season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper." Psalms 1:1-3