Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Wishing for naughty.....

Recently, Jacob and I were watching Gavin play with his toys on the floor. Jacob adores Gavin and seriously loves having him as a brother! But, along with the great feelings of having Gavin as a brother, there are also feelings of sadness. While we were watching Gavin play, Jacob looked at me with longing in his eyes and said; "I wish that Gavin could walk." All that I could say was, "Me too."

Sometimes I forget that having a special needs child, also affects our other children. I mean, I always think of the things that we could be doing with them if Gavin were able to do more, and how this makes me feel sad because as a parent, you want to give your children the world! But, I never really think that our other boys feel sad because Gavin isn't able to do much. They seem to take it all in stride and not let things bother them.

So, when Jacob said this, it made me feel sad for him, as Gavin's oldest brother.

After he said this, he went on to say how much more fun Gavin would be to have around, if he could run around with them. He imagined the things that Gavin would be doing right now if he could walk, talk and use his mind to it's fullest.

He saw Gavin running out of the house., Getting into the trash., Wrestling his brothers., Talking back to his brothers., Climbing into things and onto things.....etc. He said that he thought that Gavin would have been a little stinker and quite naughty, if Gavin hadn't suffered his major stroke.

And, I totally agree with Jacob. Gavin would have been a master trouble maker....there is no doubt in this! All I have to do is look at Gavin's brothers and what a handfull they are, to know this!

Oh, how I wish that we were pulling our hair out trying to keep Gavin in line!

Jacob wishes this as well.

Gavin DOES have ways of driving us crazy though. He may not be able to sit up on his own or walk and talk, but he definitely finds ways to be naughty! This is how I know that he probably would have been my most active child!

I know that I can't go back to the pre-stroke child, so I guess I'll have to find pleasure in the naughtiness that Gavin does get himself into.

Here are some pictures of Gavin's newest pleasure and naughty behavior:

Notice him yelling and enjoying his masterpiece!

He has found a way to grab onto the sides of his pipe bar, which his toys hang from, and pull it until it falls down and comes apart. He does this several times a day and he has even broken a piece of the pipe right off! Thankfully it still stands, even with a missing piece!

I think that he's quite proud of himself too!

Another thing that he does to drive his Momma nuts, is to grind his teeth. This noise is right up there with nails on a chalkboard! And, there is nothing that I can do to stop him from doing this!

He even smiles while doing, like he knows that he is being naughty!

I thought about getting this on video for all of you to hear, but then I thought that I would be nice instead!

Anyway, I sure do wish that Gavin was running around with his brothers and driving me crazy like the rest of them......but I do know that Gavin's purpose is different then their's is.

So, instead of running after Gavin, Jacob and I will just be imagining what Gavin could be doing and laugh about the images that come into our heads.

Oh.....and we'll also be covering our ears to drown out the grinding noise and we'll be picking up his toy bar for the 10th time today! :)

"Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men." 1 Corinthians 1:25


ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Sometimes my Peanut and Gavin seem like twins! Peanut grinds her teeth HORRIBLY! I don't notice the sound most of the time anymore, but people are always staring at her and ask "What is that sound?" LOL It used to drive me insaaaaane but now I can tune it out. She doesn't so it in her sleep, only when she's awake. It's definately a stimming behavior for her. In fact, when we get her teeth cleaned next month, the dentist is going to try and make a clip-in mouth guard that will attach to her back molars. I don't think it's going to work as she takes nothing by mouth and is WAY orally defensive, but we have to try. She is wearing all of her teeth down very quickly.

On the other subject, all I can say is that I understand. Monkey tells me all the time he wishes he had a brother. He wishes he had someone who would play with him and "cause trouble". He has even agreed that a sister would be okay if not a brother, if she was "rowdy" LOL. I think our boys have feelings that are normal and expected. They both are clearly in love with their younger siblings, but wish for "normal". And let's be honest, so do we! It is hard to see in our kids though, isn't it.

Amy said...

Ohhh, this is so true - all of it! I also believe Gavin would be up to no good if he hadn't had that stroke. Alas, we can only make up stories as we go along, recognizing Gavin's purpose in our lives as he is -- which is JUST PERFECT in his own way.

And I concur with the teeth grinding...I don't think anyone needs to hear that! haa! ;o)

Lacey said...

This is the main reason we are sticking with a Down syndrome child to adopt. They boys subtle clues that they want a baby sister that will interact with them, smile, laugh, and walk. I want that for them too!

Team Carter Jay said...

Ughhhh! Carter learned how to grind his teeth too, and it drives me crazy!!

Debbie said...

Me and my kids have those same dreams and images dancing in our heads.

I think it's hard to hear the sibs voice what we think or envision in our minds, they have the courage to go there and sometimes it can be hard.

Set Apart Living Mama said...

He looks like he had a blast!! My son grinds his teeth when he sleeps..it drives me nuts as well!

I awarded you the Sunshine Award for your blog. If you want you can pick it up at my blog

Me and Mine in a Small Town

Stephanie said...

You all make up such an amazing family. I am so , so glad we connected!
And BTW, teeth grinding sends me in to a frenzy!!Miss E is also guilty of that.

Carole Doty said...

Gavin is precious just as he is and couldn't be loved more by his entire family.

I try not to think of "What could have been" had he not suffered an unecessary stroke (in that it was brought on by human error)... I hold firm to the knowledge of God's plan and purpose for him and all for all of our lives.

I await the time when we will witness this precious child of God running, laughing, talking in Eternity!

I love you all so very much!

Mom/Grandma Doty

Shan said...

We've been there, and yet they are so naughty in their own way. Those are some of my favorite memories... he is just adorable!

Annette Gysen said...

Hilarious--and cute! Funny how easy it can be to be naughty. I heard about the teeth grinding, but Katie wasn't annoyed--she was sympathetic because Gavin was cold. But then she doesn't hear it as much as you do :).

Colleen said...

Awww, he has a sweet smile!

Cathy said...

I love his naughtiness. I can say this because he is at your house. But as for the grinding,I totally get it. She does it all the time, only when awake. She can grind even with her pacifier in her mouth. Do you worry about them grinding down to the nerve in the teeth? does you ahve any theroy as to why they do it? Thank you for sharing and making us aware that all members are affected.

Unknown said...

I've thought about this same concern. Wesley is too young to voice his opinion in the matter just yet, but I am sure that we too will have the same conversation some day. And yet as sad as it may make us, I also believe you must be so proud of what a fine young man your Jacob is becoming that he loves his brother unconditionally. That is my prayer day in and day out for Isabelle. I often feel that is part of her purpose in the lives she is in to teach them that unconditional love.
As for teeth grinding, my I get shivers up my skin just thinking about it. Izzy doesn't do it a ton, but when she does it just sounds so hard. And there is no way I'm sticking my finger in there to try to stop her, so I usually just give her a little tap on the mouth to try to teach her to stop.
O, and by the way, I would guess it's hard to get too upset with Gavin's naughtiness as he looks pretty darn cute while doing it. :)

Alicia said...

What a great reminder for me to remember that, even though Marissa can push my patience to the limits sometimes, I am thankful she is able to do so. Thank you.

I love those pictures of Gavin being naughty! What a little stinker! And so strong too, to be able to break a piece of the bar off!

Marissa used to grind her teeth too, so I am totally with you about the nails on the chalkboard. Thanks for not sharing that with us all! : )

Have a great day!

Hope said...

Teeth grinding gives me chills. LOL Ava does it and it drives me crazy. I'm sorry I've been MIA, but I'm catching up slowly:)

Michelle said...

Our kids are so great aren't they? I wish I could take things as well as they do. So adaptable. Keeping you in my prayer.

Love the pic of his big old cheeser grin...

PS-while I'm trying to type this my naughty girl is clicking the mouse and giggling all the while...

Michelle said...

Gavin is adorable! sounds like he has two older brothers he who love him so much!

My sister's bday is Sep 15 - and her middle name is Gavin! (maiden name of her paternal grandmother!)