I wish that more people could see Gavin like I see him. When we are away from home Gavin does not act himself. He prefers to be at home and he comes alive when we are at home. So many people don't get to see Gavin in his true form. This makes me sad. I see the looks that people give him and me. I see the pity. I sense the uncomfortableness. I understand it, but I don't like it!
But, most people don't get to see the real Gavin. And, most people don't take the time to get to know the real Gavin. He may be severely delayed, but he isn't absent. He may appear to not know what's going on, and he may appear to have no purpose in life, but this is far from the truth!
Gavin has feelings and he shows them to us. He smiles when he hears familiar voices or when people talk to him nicely. He gets really excited when his brothers come into the room. He starts "talking" when the phone rings. He "sings" when we sing in church. He cries when he is lonely. He even acts goofy sometimes and he even has a little bit of a naughty streak in him! He initiates and gives me the best kisses that I have ever received! He comes alive when he hears his Momma's voice or the silly songs that I sing to him. He brings more joy to our family than anyone ever could!
I was recently commended for being such a good Momma to Gavin. I was given a "pat on the back" for not showing resentment towards him. This actually shocked me! Why would I have resentment towards this precious boy?! He did nothing to deserve any of this! Not to mention, he has actually made my life better, just by being here! Sure, life is more complicated and I can't do everything that I would like to do, but my life is definitely more full than it was before I had him. Sometimes I even think to myself, "Why was I given this amazing gift?! Why me?!" I have something that so many others will never have and God actually trusted me with this wonderful gift!
There are days that I wish that Gavin could do a WHOLE LOT more, but there is never a day that I think that life would be better without him.....NEVER! I wish that people could see the true Gavin, like I see him. Unfortunately, some will never take the time to see Gavin for what he really is. And, even more unfortunate, many will never take the time or be able to see God for What and Who He really is either! I find both of these truths to be very sad.
"But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear; for assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it." Matthew 13:16-17
7 comments:
For those who won't take the time to see Gavin and the blessings he brings, they also won't ever be able to ENJOY those blessings.
I think about when we were young and mom would take us out and about. When we happened upon someone with a disability, she would go out of her way to make sure they felt appreciated, and it always left me feeling so happy and proud. I now know we are blessing immeasurably because she bestowed this ability in us, as well. While I might not understand how people wouldn't do the same as mom did/does, I also know that not everyone is as lucky to have such an amazing role model in their own lives. Sad, indeed! (((HUGS)))
It so funny because we have the opposite problem. People see Jax and go up to him and talk to him, and of course he doesn't respond. Doesn't even look at them. People think he's a typical little boy when he's not. Oh well. I can't imagine my life without him either.
Gosh, the things people say to you sometimes! Resentment toward Gavin?!? Really?!?
It is very sad that some people will never see the value in Gavin. I can see from all the way over here that he is priceless and he has such a great capacity to love, laugh and live life. I swear I can even see the naughty streak you speak of!! :)
Thankfully, the only One who needs to know the true value of Gavin already does! Plus his loving family knows what a great little guy he is. If others are too blind to see what he can contribute, they can go jump in a lake! :)
Wow. I'm kinda speechless. Why in the world would someone say that? Maybe it's just me, but I look at Gavin's eyes and see that he is so much more. He has eyes that glow with life and personality.
People make me so mad.
God knew Gavin and planned his days before the world was even created! He is a gift from God. I see so much life, love, and beauty in the pictures you post of him! I'm so thankful for you that you know God and can appreciate this great gift of Gavin He has given you--and share him with all of us!
We get stupid comments occasionally too. One time I was pushing Peanut in her wheelchair, while pulling a grocery cart behind me. This lady stopped me and exlaimed loudly "What happened to her?" I freaked, because I couldn't see her face while pushing the wheelchair. I ran around it to the front and saw nothing. I figured she was bleeding or something! Turns out the woman was just an idiot. I said "She has physical disabilities. They are much more endearing than your thinking disabilities" and walked on. I hate morons.
Our kids are amazing. They are who they are. And most people will never get to see the TRUE side of them. The fun, loving, awesome side of them that we are blessed enough to enjoy. :)
Some people are so very ignorant. Most days people are very kind-but the ones that respond like that put a damper a day. I really like that comment about the "thinking disabilities" I will have to remember that. I don't mind when kids are staring at Parker or ask questions-they are coming from innocent questions. The adults that stare and don't explain are the ones that make me so mad. It is a shame they will never know how much our children bring into our lives and how much empathy for others I have. My oldest even explains to his friends how to behave-when I overhear him, it just fills my heart up.
I am sorry that happened to you-she was an idiot. I get frustrated at small things like being at the pool and needing to do a feeding-people stare. I now am better at tuning it out and ignoring it. I also got smart this year and got a swim shirt for him. People stare at his button and it irritates me. I want him to enjoy his life as much as he can and not have all that distraction.
Gavin is beautiful inside and out and so are his big brothers!
Jen Carden
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