It really saddens me knowing that others don't see Gavin for all that he is. Sure, there are people who realize all that he is worth, but for the most part I think that Gavin is just seen as a boy who is sick and unable to do anything. This is so far from the truth in my eyes!
I wish that more people could see Gavin like I see him. When we are away from home Gavin does not act himself. He prefers to be at home and he comes alive when we are at home. So many people don't get to see Gavin in his true form. This makes me sad. I see the looks that people give him and me. I see the pity. I sense the uncomfortableness. I understand it, but I don't like it!
But, most people don't get to see the real Gavin. And, most people don't take the time to get to know the real Gavin. He may be severely delayed, but he isn't absent. He may appear to not know what's going on, and he may appear to have no purpose in life, but this is far from the truth!
Gavin has feelings and he shows them to us. He smiles when he hears familiar voices or when people talk to him nicely. He gets really excited when his brothers come into the room. He starts "talking" when the phone rings. He "sings" when we sing in church. He cries when he is lonely. He even acts goofy sometimes and he even has a little bit of a naughty streak in him! He initiates and gives me the best kisses that I have ever received! He comes alive when he hears his Momma's voice or the silly songs that I sing to him. He brings more joy to our family than anyone ever could!
I was recently commended for being such a good Momma to Gavin. I was given a "pat on the back" for not showing resentment towards him. This actually shocked me! Why would I have resentment towards this precious boy?! He did nothing to deserve any of this! Not to mention, he has actually made my life better, just by being here! Sure, life is more complicated and I can't do everything that I would like to do, but my life is definitely more full than it was before I had him. Sometimes I even think to myself, "Why was I given this amazing gift?! Why me?!" I have something that so many others will never have and God actually trusted me with this wonderful gift!
There are days that I wish that Gavin could do a WHOLE LOT more, but there is never a day that I think that life would be better without him.....NEVER! I wish that people could see the true Gavin, like I see him. Unfortunately, some will never take the time to see Gavin for what he really is. And, even more unfortunate, many will never take the time or be able to see God for What and Who He really is either! I find both of these truths to be very sad.
"But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear; for assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it." Matthew 13:16-17